


Just Like Fire

by Drachenkinder



Series: Set the World on Fire [3]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, BDSM, Dark Frostmaster, F/M, Gaslighting, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicide reference, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-11-01 11:32:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drachenkinder/pseuds/Drachenkinder
Summary: Part Three of Set the World on Fire.AU  Loki street performer and runaway prince.   Wealthy Fight Promoter Grandmaster.





	1. Chapter 1

Dinner was a nightmare, En was angry and disappointed in him. He was going to get in trouble for wasting his food, but Loki's emotions were in such turmoil he couldn’t choke down another bite. Val’s hostile triumphant smirks went right through him. He had so much more on his mind then her. How did it come to this?

******earlier

The big car eased into traffic. “Your champion,” Loki said, not being able to call the man Bruce, “is a real beast. How much entertainment will it be if he takes out Thor in the first round? I think the customers would want their money back for such a one sided bout.”

“Don’t worry your pretty head about that, Honey. Val has him under control. She assures me he’ll play by the rules till the twelfth round.”

Loki hated the ‘pretty head’ comment but let it go by. This was about being persuasive, and honey not vinegar was in order.

“I saw how much she has him under control. He broke that guy's ribs En.” Loki shifted across the seat to snuggle against his lover. “The audience will know if he goes easy on Thor for most of the fight and then lays him out.”

“I didn’t say he was gonna go easy. But your brother, he’s a real contender. All that muscle, he can take it… take a real beating. I can tell he’s not the type to give up. I know fighters, Baby,” En squeezed Loki’s thigh. “And he’s game. I could of made him a champion if he’d come to me earlier. Anyone else, they’d go four, maybe five rounds, max. But Blondie, his ribs get broke and… well he won’t say anything, he’ll just have Errol tape ‘em up and he’ll be right back in the ring for the next round. The spectators are gonna get their money’s worth, Lolo.”

“That is what I am afraid of.” Loki thought. “Thor is too stubborn to admit when he is defeated. He will keep getting up, until he cannot get up any more.”

“Still, I do not see how this is going to enhance your champion’s reputation, fighting an amateur. No one will care if he beats an unknown.”

“I don’t want him to have a big reputation. I want his name out there. Fighting ‘The Pugilistic Prince’, will do that.”

“Tell me you are not seriously going to bill Thor like that.”

“I kinda like it. Or maybe Thor, Lord of Thunder, playing off the whole mythology thing. What do you think?”

“They are both terrible. It should be God of Thunder if you wish to reference the mythology.”

“Nah, too many people take offense if you start throwing divinity around.”

“I still think you would do better to match him with a professional. As he is listed as a mystery fighter you could do the switch and no one would know. What about Barnes? Fury was trying to rope him into his stable? I hear he went one on one with Rogers in a training bout.”

“Barnes is still wrapped up in Hydra’s outfit. He’s trying go freelance but Hydra’s contracts are cradle to grave.”

“So why not see if they are interested in matching him against your champion?” Loki couldn’t keep the distaste for the title from his voice.

“Baby, Hydra is one business I am not going to get mixed up with. You start playing with them and next thing you know, they own everything you have with a rider on everything you will have. I got the match I want Loki.”

Loki nibbled on En’s ear and ran his hand up his thigh.

“En, I have seen Thor fight a hundred times. It will be so dull watching him stumble around the ring making a fool of himself. I want to see something exciting, something that will make my heart pound.” He pressed his teeth into the lobe of the older man’s ear where he had bitten him earlier. “Do not make me beg for it, love.”

“Beg all you want, your brother is on for the fight.” En’s tone was dismissive and he shoved Loki’s arm off his thigh as he changed gears.

Loki knew better then to persist. He knew that En was already irritated at him. He only called him by name when he was telling him to back off. But the thought of Thor entering the ring with that monster. Fuck. He moved away from En over to the door and looked out at the city. The busy streets passed by without notice, the air hot and heavy with the smell of traffic. Loki tried to think of anything to get En to let Thor withdraw.

“His name is Gniewko Banik not Bruce Banner.” Loki said softly as En stopped at a light.

“Is that so?” En said, not taking his eyes from the road. The light changed and he wheeled into a supermarket parking lot and shut off the car.

“You know Loki, you got to learn to leave things alone.” Loki pressed back against the door. That he was expecting the blow didn’t help. He raised his arm to shield his face when En turned to him, his expression ruthless.

“Put your arm down Kitten, I’m not going to hit you” He might have been telling Loki to roll up his window, so little emotion was in his voice. Loki watched him for a moment, his tongue darted out, wet his lips. En’s manner didn’t change. Loki lowered his arm.

“You know better Lolo. Don’t you?” En asked softly. His hand reached out and Loki flinched, but the long fingers only cupped Loki’s face. His thumb rubbed under the cheekbone. “But you need to learn when to stop.”

“He is my brother. You cannot do this.” Loki said. Tears welled in his eyes blurring En's face, “Please, please, I will do anything you want. Don’t make him get into the ring. That monster will kill him.”

En’s thumb pressed harder, his thumbnail dug into the skin. Loki could see the anger burning in En’s eyes. There was a sharp pain and he felt a warmth of blood trickle down his cheek. It was diluted with Loki’s tears.

“You know that’s not how this works, Lolo. You don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t do. Now Blondie, he disrespected me, and he has to pay for that. But I decided to give him a break because he’s your brother. Don’t make me regret that decision, Loki. This way he has a chance, the other way, not so much. You understand?”

Loki nodded. If Thor didn’t fight Banik, En would have him killed. The little demonstration with the guns had been only a taste of En’s punishment.

En patted Loki’s cheek. “Don’t cry Baby, your brother’s pretty tough. He may walk out of the ring with only a few broken bones.”

He restarted the car and pulled back onto the road.

“Dry your eyes and fix your make up, Lolo. I don’t want you looking a mess tonight.”

Loki pulled open the glove box. The wipes kept there for other purposes, were useful for cleaning the smear of blood from his face. He folded a couple up as a compress and pressed them against the tiny wound. He didn’t try to stop his tears. He had been so happy, only an hour ago.

Loki had convinced himself that with training, Thor would not be hurt too badly. After all he was big and strong and damn good for an amateur. Even with En’s champion’s vicious reputation, Loki was sure there would be safeguards. They were fighting in the States and the referee would stop the fight before Thor took too much damage. In a way he was looking forward to Thor having his ass handed to him on a platter.

Loki had talked himself into believing Thor would be alright. Right up until he’d seen Banik. The man was damaged, a monster, he didn’t respond to pain. He’d kept fighting the attendants trying to subdue him with a broken bone sticking out of his forearm. Loki later heard it had taken five times the amount of sedative used on a normal man to bring him down. No referee would be able to stop him, Val would be as ineffectual at getting him under control as she was today. The only thing that would save his brother would be if Loki could find a way to drug the beast long enough for Thor to take him down. Loki knew En would never forgive him for it, might even kill him. Whatever he chose to do, he was going to lose. Hopeless tears ran down his face unheeded. He held the wipe to his face long after the cut had stopped bleeding.

Now he sat next to En, toying with his meal as Val and En discussed the fighting style of the man who would kill Thor. He tried to listen, to extract any information he could pass on to Fandral. But his mind was circling in a hopeless spiral. Betray En and lose his life, the one rule he could never break. Don’t betray him and lose his idiot of a brother. What was the problem? Thor had abandoned him long ago. Had abandoned him again, just recently. Loki wasn’t worth anything to Thor unless he wasn’t Loki. 

But he remembered Thor’s smiling face as they raced their horses over the hills behind the castle. The easy arm over his shoulder as they walked through the town. The quick intervention when Odin had berated him, Thor distracting their father with a question or some pointless story. Endless conversations about girls and cars and Thor's chances of serving with the mercenaries. The year they raised a pair of mutts and tried to turn them into hunting dogs with disastrous results. Loki smiled as he remembered the chaos as the pack raced all over the castle grounds trying to catch the two interlopers. The pups had headed for the nearest group of people and the combination of refined tennis luncheon and twenty muddy baying hounds was enough to have him and Thor helpless with laughter.

It didn’t matter how many times Thor left him behind. Loki couldn’t turn his back on his brother. He looked at En and tears threatened again. He was going to lose everything. Bad enough that En would kill him, it was worse to think that he would hate Loki. En gave him another irritated glance and Loki abruptly shoved his chair back and got to his feet. 

“Excuse me.” He said and turned away. He dodged En's hand and rapidly walked across the dining room and out of the restaurant. He threaded past the customers clogging the front doors and out into the parking lot. There was a dark alley and he instinctively turned toward it. He didn’t know where he was going. The need to run away was overwhelming and he broke into a trot when he entered the narrow passage. 

He was actually running when he came out the other side. Racing down the street, then dodging across traffic, horns blaring at him. He ran until he couldn’t draw another breath, till his steps were weaving and stumbling. Sweat and tears blinded him. He stopped and leaded against a building till he could breathe without coughing. He took the pressed handkerchief from his pocket, wiped his eyes and blew his nose. 

"No more handkerchiefs." He thought, with a pang that had nothing to do with the loss of luxuries. 

He was on another street, warehouses on either side. He ducked behind them and found a fenced rail yard. The rusting chain link was no barrier and he clambered up and over. Inside the yard there were rows of sidelined boxcars and looming silent engines. Somewhere, Loki knew, there was a security guard, walking the lines and checking the cars. Loki hadn’t seen any cameras, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t seen him. He hurried down a row until he came to an open boxcar. It took him two tries before he managed to climb onto the roof. People didn’t look up. He’d be safe here for the night. Tomorrow? Tomorrow he’d be far away and En would forget him, Thor would hear about the war in Asgard and rush home. Maybe he’d be able to stop it. Loki couldn’t. 

There was a buzzing in his pocket. His phone. If it had buzzed before he’d not noticed. He debated not checking, but found himself wanting to see a last message from En. He pulled it out and checked.

 _GrandmasterGast:_ Baby where are you?

 _GrandmasterGast:_ Get your ass back here, boy.

 _GrandmasterGast:_ Lolo?

 _GrandmasterGast:_ Loki, come back.

Loki sobbed and typed his reply.

 _Lokitten:_ I can’t. I love you too much.

He hit send. He turned off the phone and threw it as far as he could. He didn’t hear it hit the ground. He turned on his side and stared at the lights of Reno as the night wore on. The rain that had been threatening all day broke. Warm drops pattered on the dusty metal of his perch. Loki made no attempt to move as the water soaked through his shirt, his pants, molding the cloth to his lean body and plastering his hair to his head. 

His jacket was still on the back of the chair in the restaurant. He wondered if En had picked it up. Would he return it to the tailor, have it recut to fit his next boy? The idea hurt more than he could bear. Someone else in his place, getting those rough kisses, those strong embraces. Someone else hearing the meandering chatter that sometimes soothed and sometimes drove him half mad. Loki curled up hugging his knees to his chest. There were no more tears in his desolate eyes. 

******

P!nk

Just Like fire

I know that I'm running out of time  
(I want it all, mmm, mmm)  
And I'm wishing they'd stop tryna turn me off  
I want it all, mmm, mmm  
And I'm walking on a wire, trying to go higher  
Feels like I'm surrounded by clowns and liars  
Even when I get it all the way  
(I want it all, mmm, mmm)

We can get 'em running, running, running

Just like fire, burning out the way  
If I can light the world up for just one day  
Watch this madness, colorful charade  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like magic, I'll be flying free  
I'mma disappear when they come for me  
I kick that ceiling, what you gonna say?  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like fire, uh

And people like to laugh at you cause they are all the same, mmm  
See I would rather we just go our different way than play the game, mmm  
And no matter the weather, we can do it better  
You and me together forever and ever  
We don't have to worry about a thing about a thing, no

We can get 'em running, running, running

Just like fire, burning out the way  
If I can light the world up for just one day  
Watch this madness, colorful charade  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like magic, I'll be flying free  
I'mma disappear when they come for me  
I kick that ceiling, what you gonna take?  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like fire, fire, fire  
Running, running, running  
We can get 'em running, running, running

So I can get it running  
Just cause nobody's done it  
Y'all don't think I can run it  
But look, I've been here, I've done it  
Impossible? Please  
Watch, I do it with ease  
You just gotta believe  
Come on, come on with me  
Oh, what you gonna do?  
(What, what!?)  
Oh, what you gonna do?  
(What, what!?)  
Oh, what you gonna do?  
(What, what!?)  
Oh, what you gonna do?

Just like fire, burning out the way  
If I can light the world up for just one day  
Watch this madness, colorful charade  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like fire, burning out the way  
If I can light the world up for just one day  
Watch this madness, colorful charade  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like magic, I'll be flying free  
I'mma disappear when they come for me  
I kick that ceiling, what you gonna say?  
No one can be just like me any way  
Just like fire, fire!  
Running, running, running  
Just like fire!  


Songwriters: ALECIA Moore / Max Martin / Oscar Holter / Karl Schuster  
Just Like Fire lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Walt Disney Music Company, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things change and some things stay the same. A lot of talking.

It was the dog that woke him, or in truth, jarred him out of an uncomfortable doze. The rain hadn’t cooled the night off, if anything it only became warmer and muggier. His clothes stuck to him, the metal roof was hard and unforgiving and his arm grew numb where he rested his head. His hips ached and his back hurt and the emptiness inside only grew, eating up any desire to move. He needed to suffer and the minor aches were not enough. He wanted it over, wanted everything over. Wanted to never have to feel again. The night crawled on longer than any summer night should be.

The “Woof! Woof Woof!” echoed in the empty boxcar below him and Loki blinked his eyes and looked up at the grey wisps of cloud reflecting city lights against the black sky. Somewhere close was the scream of metal wheels on rails and the bangs of train cars bumping together, the low roar of a heavy diesel engine under the metallic noise.

“Hey you! I know you’re up there.” Came a deep voice. “Better come down.”

Loki was still. "Maybe the guy will go away if I make no move. He can’t be sure someone is up here." Loki thought. The dog barked again.

“Smokey don’t play around. You mess with her and she gonna take a bite outta your ass. You don’t want me to hafta come up there and throw your butt offa that car.”

Loki sat up, moved to the edge and looked down. A flashlight blinded him, then moved off his face when he raised his hand to shield his eyes. It took a moment for his light dazzled eyes to make out the shape of the guard, his dark uniform and face hard to see in the deep shadow of the stilled train cars. The guy was as large as he sounded, his uniform stretched tight over a chest broad with muscle under a layer of fat. His expression was stern under his uniform cap. Loki might have chanced running, certain he could outpace the man, except for the dog. It was big and ugly and scarred across the top of its head. It was eyeing him with a demonic hope of sinking its oversized teeth into his flesh. Loki breathed out a sigh of defeat. He’d had a snowball’s chance in hell that he’d picked a train that was leaving today anyway. He crawled to the end of the car and scrambled down the side. 

The pair escorted him across the yard to a darkened building where the guard unlocked a door at the back and ushered Loki into a tiny office. Loki sat on a cracked vinyl chair and waited while the guard poured out two cups of coffee and handed him one. He looked Loki up and down as Loki sipped the strong, bitter brew.

“When Smokey found your phone and I read them messages, I was afraid I was gonna find you under the wheels of one of them trains, boy. Don’t ever want to see something like that again. Trains do an ugly thing to a body.”

Loki stared silent at him over the cup. 

“Now this could go a few ways, son. I could call the police and turn you over and you get to spend a couple a days in jail till they sort you out. Or I could walk you out the gate and you go your way and your skinny ass don’t show up here no more. Or you could call your friend here and sort things out instead of running off like a skert kid.”

Loki took another sip of the coffee and looked into his cup. 

“Boy, you in some kind of trouble? You want I should call someone else come pick you up?”

Loki bared his teeth in a mirthless grin.

“There is no one else. Lucifer is the only god in hell.” He put out his hand for his phone. 

The guard looked like he was going to say something, then his shoulders moved in a tiny shrug that said ‘not his business what a grown man was going to do.’ He was doubtful, but handed over the phone.

The screen was cracked and the battery low but it still worked. Loki typed in;

_Lokitten:_ at train yard pick me up 

Almost immediately the phone buzzed as the reply came back.

_GrandmasterGast:_ Stay put. Be there in 5.

Loki put the phone on the desk and drank his coffee as the man filled out an incident report. He wordlessly handed over his ID and signed Lukas Wulf, admitting to a minor charge of trespassing. The sky was a dim shade of grey when the guard walked Loki to the gate. He turned to him before opening it when he saw the big convertible. 

“You sure you wanna do this? I could call someone else for you, or social services? It’s not too late, son.”

Loki shook his head. “Let me out. It was too late the day I was born.”

The guard gave him a hard stare and unlocked the gate. The passenger side door swung open. Loki walked the intervening space with all the hope of a man going to the executioner. He got in the car without looking at En and kept his eyes on the road as they pulled away. He waited for the flood of words, or the silent rage. Instead there was a shaky in drawn breath and in a voice Loki had never heard him use, En said:

“Kitten, don’t ever do that to me again.” 

Loki finally looked over at En. Took in his rumpled clothing of the night before, at his hair sticking up in all directions, at his bruised and red rimmed eyes and at his hands, the perfectly kept nails torn and bitten so low they were bloody. That was wrong. 

“Your hands,” Loki said, “Your poor hands, En.”

“It’s okay, Baby. It’s okay. You’re alright. That’s all that matters.” Still in that strange, broken sounding voice.

The long fingers entwined in his and Loki brought the damaged fingertips to his lips, gently kissing each one. They sat silent on the drive back to Tahoe. Holding hands. Loki passively followed En from the garage into the elevator. He waited as En stopped at the kitchen and then rode up with him to the penthouse. Nothing mattered. Nothing had changed. 

En didn’t do his room scan for once, but took Loki to the bed and sat beside him. He pulled Loki into his arms. This morning En looked older than his age. He smelled of stale cigarettes and old whisky and rank sweat and Loki felt tired. Too tired and beaten to say anything. He allowed the hug but didn’t return it.

“Why Loki? En asked. “Why did you run?”

Loki only sighed, there was no point in talking, it wouldn’t change anything.

“It’s about your brother isn’t it?” En persisted. “About the fight?”

Loki nodded. En wouldn’t stop till he got an answer.

“Baby I can’t stop the fight. He has to pay. I can’t just… just let him walk away.”

Loki looked up into En’s face and saw not determination, not anger but anguish. Loki realized that En’s rules applied to himself. His actions constrained by his own sense of who he was. 

“I’m asking him to not be himself.” Loki thought. “The same way Thor asks me to not be myself.”

“I know.” Loki said aloud. “But he’s my brother and I love him. Why should I suffer for what he did?”

“Baby, you gotta trust me on this. I won’t let him get killed. Okay? I won’t let your brother take too much damage.” En cupped his chin. “Do you trust me Loki?”

Loki didn’t, but why bother saying so. He looked at En in defeat. “Yes.”

He felt the door closing on the golden cage.

“Promise me something Kitten, promise me you won’t run away like that again.” En’s eyes followed Loki’s quick glance to the high windows. 

“No, Loki, no.” En brushed his thumb over the healing crescent scab on Loki’s cheek. “You gotta promise me you won’t do that either. Promise me you won’t try to kill yourself… won’t hurt yourself. Okay Lolo?”

Loki nodded. 

“Say the words Kitten, I need to hear you say the words.”

“I promise I won’t run away, I won’t kill myself, I won’t hurt myself. Loki said dully.

“Good boy.” En said pushing his hair back from his face.

The cage door was shut and locked.

En kissed his forehead, got up and walked to the closet. Loki watched him go. He wanted this over so he could go to sleep.

“I got something for you. I think maybe, maybe I should have done this earlier.” 

Loki heard the sound of the safe opening. The safe where En kept the toys so Loki couldn’t play with them by himself. 

“He’s going to whip me.” Loki thought. “But it won’t help. Not this time.”

But En brought out a zippered leather folder and handed it to Loki. Loki stared dumbly at it.

“You have to open it up, Lolo.”

Another present then. Something to buy his obedience. As if En needed to now. Loki opened the case and pulled out a several documents. His exhausted mind didn’t make sense of them at first. Then he frowned, not believing what he was seeing.

A work visa was on top. His real name on it, Loki Laufeyjarson. His picture, one of the shots that were taken for the posters advertising his show. He was listed as an employee of En Dwi Gast Inc. It was dated from a few days before he left Asgard. Under that was a Nevada ID for a legal alien, with another of the promo shots. Then a copy of an application for citizenship submitted a month ago. At the bottom of the pile was a bank passbook with his name on it. Loki flipped it open and there in En’s neat handwriting was a list of deposits, starting from the first week he was on stage. A thousand a week. Nine thousand dollars in his name. There was a password written on the inside cover. Loki glanced up puzzled.

“These are good. They look real enough to fool anyone.”

“They are real baby. I know people. Real and legal and yours. You want to put them somewhere safe, okay? Like a bank.”

En had handed him the key to the cage.

“Why?” Loki asked

“I take care of my own, Kitten. I told you that. If you need to leave, you won’t be on the streets.” En took a deep breath and his voice went strange again. “But you gotta tell me, Loki. You can’t just walk off without a word. I have to know you’re safe.”

There was a tear on En’s cheek and Loki reached up his hand and touched it, brought his fingers to his mouth and tasted it as if to check that it was real. The salt was bitter on his tongue. He put his hands on the sides of En’s face, and licked a second tear from his skin. That seemed to only cause more to fall and Loki kissed every one like they were the most precious of gifts.

“You gotta tell me Love. Don’t do that to me again.” 

It was the sound of the elevator rising that caused En to pull away and grab a tissue to dry his eyes. Loki felt a warmth rising in his chest. En had never called him “Love” before. The waiter brought pancakes and sausage and cups of cold tea instead of coffee. The smell of the food made Loki suddenly ravenous. He’d didn’t wait for the server to leave before he picked up his plate and tore into the meal. En apparently felt likewise and there was only the sound of flatware on china for several minutes. Loki was almost finished before he noticed the smears of rust and grease on his hands and wrists. 

“Norns, I’m filthy.” He said. 

“Yeah. You are.” En answered. 

“Not exactly sweet yourself. Were you up all night?”

“Um hum. I got the general location of the phone when you last texted, but it wasn’t precise. I drove around hoping to spot you.”

“You have a tracker on my phone?”

“Lolo, I have trackers on all my people's phones. Security measure, that’s all. If the phones get lost or stolen.”

That made sense and Loki let it go. Paranoia would only serve him so far. En did look like he’d been up all night, but not as bad as he had when he’d first picked Loki up. 

“En, I never thought you would look for me. Not for the whole night.”

“Honey, what else would I do? I was worried about you. You’re not exactly stable.”

"And you are?" Loki thought. Which wasn't fair. En was as stable as a rock and just as hard.

“Write me off? There are plenty of other guys who would be happy to hang off your arm.” Loki said, putting down his fork on his empty plate. “Other people you could hire for an opening act.”

“There's nobody like you, Loki.” En said as he stood. He extended his hand to Loki to help him up. "Don't you know that by now?"

The shower was good, washing away the filth and the coldness and loosening the last of the tightness in Loki’s chest. En scrubbing his back and he returning the favor. It was good also to lay beside En, to feel his breath on the back of his neck and the weight of his arm across his ribs. It was so like En to set the alarm, so Loki could be up in time for tonight’s show. 

"Not just for En," Loki thought. "For me. So I’ll have money of my own. So I won’t depend on him."

He considered Troy, the retired boxer working as En's cook in San Francisco. He wasn't a toady like Topaz, but he was still fiercely loyal. So were Brian, Joshua and even Val. They respected En. It wasn’t fear that motivated them to work for him. 

En was a manipulative bastard. Most likely a murderer and he played fast and loose with the law. A monster if Loki was honest with himself. My monster, he thought smugly. My vicious, nasty, evil monster who stayed up all night looking for me. Another thought occurred.

“Old man? Am I going to have to pay for last night?”

En’s voice was heavy and slow with sleep. 

“You know it Kitten. But not now, not tonight. Later."

“Good.” 

En's chuckle was reassuring and his soft kiss a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a loosening of the leash to bind him closer?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had an action filled chapter mapped out, needed to allow for some time to pass and this happened. Oh well.

It was the second night after Loki had run away. He was on stage, halfway through his second set when he spotted En in the doorway of the lounge, his lips pursed and a frown creasing his forehead. The frown cleared when Loki met his eyes and his lips smoothed into a hard line. En lifted his chin and looked down his nose, then he cocked his head toward the restaurant, Loki gave a quick nod and En left. Loki felt a shiver of anticipation. En in imperious mode was an indicator that his punishment for running away was going to begin. He touched his tongue to his lips, shivered and tried to drop the matter from his mind and get back into his routine.

The audience was making him work hard. They were an older crowd tonight and heavy with drink. He toned down his flirting to mild innuendos and played up the dangerous aspects of his act. That got him more applause, but it was obvious they were waiting for the main show. Loki finished with a flourish which garnered a fair amount of polite clapping. He went back stage where he quickly removed his make-up and changed out of his performance costume into a pair of black jeans and t-shirt. He thought about reapplying his cosmetics and decided against it. They’d only get smeared and En wouldn’t appreciate the delay. He heard the louder noise of the room welcoming Doctor Strange. Oh well, Loki thought, he couldn’t please every audience.

He danced down the back hallway to the music of Strange’s opening trick, executing a passable waltz as he approached the server’s entrance to the dining room. He opened the doors and elaborately bowed a waitress laden with orders out ahead of him. As he straightened up, he spotted En at the bar and walked over to him smiling.

“Hey Beautiful.” Loki said as he slid onto the seat next to En. “Come here often?” He raised his hand to signal the bartender.

En emptied his glass with a final sip and grasped Loki’s raised hand by the wrist. He rose to his feet in one smooth motion and shook his head at the hurrying bartender. Loki winced at the iron grip and grinned inwardly when En pulled him off the bar stool, twisted his arm behind his back and frog marched him across the dining room without a word of explanation. The startled and confused eyes of the patrons sent a blush across his cheeks and he dropped his eyes and hung his head as though in shame. His heart was racing. He loved this show that En was putting on. What should have been public embarrassment had become one more level of excitement. En pushed him back through the service doors and they had no sooner swung shut then he jerked Loki around and slapped him hard across the face. Loki knew the resounding crack was loud enough to be heard by those diners seated nearby and that sent a thrill straight to his groin. A new waiter, coming from the kitchen froze with a shocked expression on his face that Loki gloried in. The man ducked back into the steamy realm of banging pots and clattering plates. Loki raised his free hand to his stinging cheek, hoping it would leave a mark.

“Did you think…think I was gonna overlook your…your little escapade?” En said. His voice betrayed not a trace of expression. 

Loki almost whined in anticipation at the cold, hard look on the older man’s face. “Oh shit,” Loki thought, “this was going to be good.”

“Do I need to make an… an example of you?” En asked, his tone still not raised.

Loki tried to jerk his arm away, but En only squeezed his wrist tighter. He was going to have bruises there. Loki bared his teeth in aggression and spat in En’s direction. It missed. En could read his intentions and moved out of the path of the spittle.

“Fucking try it Old Man.” Loki snarled. “You think I give a shit about your rules? You do not own me!”

His reward was to be body slammed against the wall, his arm once more twisted behind his back. En’s free hand grabbed his hair and jerked his head back hard. Loki’s eyes watered at the sharp pain in his scalp. En’s mouth was at his ear and he whispered for Loki alone.

“But I do, Kitten and I will.”

The soft brush of lips on the rim of his ear and the brutal grip on his hair and wrist made Loki’s knees weak. He sagged, the pressure of En’s body pinning him to the wall the only thing keeping him on his feet. En chuckled and held him there until Loki managed to get control over his reaction and straightened up. Then he jerked Loki back a step before bouncing him off the wall. The impact knocked Loki’s breath from his chest in a hard “whoosh.” 

“You have a filthy mouth boy, and you need a lesson in… respect.”

Loki shuddered. He knew what that word meant. 

En shoved him down the short hall and then to Loki’s surprise turned away from the elevator and toward the office. He let go of Loki’s hair and fished out his key, unlocked the door and thrust him inside so roughly he stumbled and banged his thigh on the work table. Loki turned around, shook his hand to get circulation back in it and rubbed his thigh. Watching En lock the door behind him. 

“You asshole.” Loki said, glaring at En. “Was that really necessary?”

En took two quick steps and drew back his hand. “Ah.” Loki thought and raised his chin in defiance. The second slap hit him in the same place as the first. and this time it was hard enough to snap his head to the side. Then En’s voice cut through his rising rage.

“Pants down and over the table.”

When Loki hesitated, between obedience and attack, En picked up a lather strap from off the back of his velvet chair.

“Now, Loki.”

Loki undid his jeans and dropped them and his boxers to his ankles. He left the t-shirt on. If En wanted it off he’d have to give the order, Loki wasn’t volunteering anything. He bent over the table, pushed the papers aside and clasped its far edge. His cock was already hard and brushed against the polished wood. He laid his bruised cheek on the smooth mahogany. 

“Are you not going to restrain me?” He asked. He clenched his hands. If En wasn’t going to tie him up, then he wasn’t going to do much to him. Loki bit his lip to keep from complaining. Everything up to this point had made him hope for more than a quick ass whipping.

En’s hand pressed down on the small of his back, and Loki could feel the older man’s weight as he leaned onto it. 

“No Baby, no ties, no cuffs, no blindfold. You need to understand how much you… you need this. You are gonna take everything I give you… everything Lolo. Because you need it Honey. You gotta admit it… admit it’s what you need… or this just isn’t doing you any good.”

“Fuck!” Loki thought. He didn’t reply. Mind games again. He hated that part of these encounters. It was one thing for En to take him apart physically, but tearing into his psyche was something he didn’t enjoy. Not in the least. He kicked one ankle free of his pants and slide his feet apart so his hips rested on the table top. He might as well be as comfortable as he could be. He was going to be here a while. 

En took his hand from Loki’s back. 

The strap sang through the air and hit the back of his thighs a fierce burning smack! Loki drew in a quick breath, biting back a cry. En wasn’t going to warm him up at all. He panted in pain and waited for the next blow. It caught him over the shoulders, and though his shirt protected him from the burn, the impact knocked his breath out. En was not holding back and Loki couldn’t help tensing. This was not a whipping but a beating. He should have expected it. He’d really hurt En. The thought made his throat close up. He’d avoided thinking about what En went through while he hid away from his fears in the rail yard.

“I’m sorry.” He said into the silence. There was no reply. Loki drew a few quick breathes opened his mouth to speak and the strap hit hard on his thighs just above his knees. 

“Fuck!” He couldn't keep from bending his legs and cursing. It hurt like hell and he’d be feeling that blow with every step for the next few days. He dropped his feet back down with trepidation and glanced back over his shoulder.

En stood still as a statue, distant and remote and his lack of expression made Loki’s heart ache.

“I shouldn’t have run away.”

The strap hit his lower back. En pulled that blow only enough to prevent real harm. He made no answer and Loki hated him for it. 

“Fuck you!” Loki said. He tightened his grip on the edge of the desk. “How am I supposed to be with you? You keep things from me. You use me!”

The strap hit his thighs right below his ass cheeks and he yelped. It burned and throbbed and his cock had softened at some point. This wasn’t fun. Why the fuck wasn’t En talking to him. He always talked. You couldn’t get the bastard to shut up. Now when Loki needed him to say something, anything he was silent as death.

“You won’t give in. You make me give in every fucking time, you always make me surrender. You never let me win!” Loki knew that was a lie. En had yielded to Loki when it mattered most. When Loki could not take anymore, En had relented and accepted Loki's conditions.

The strap swung in quick succession, twice overlaying the burning marks on the back of his thighs. He gasped and panted. Tried to keep quiet in the stillness that followed. It stretched on. Too long and Loki shivered. He bit his lip. 

“Please.”

He was begging and now and it shamed him for real, the feeling a tight twisted knot in his belly. Worse yet he didn’t know what he was begging for. The strap or En’s words or something else entirely. What he got was another blow over his ribs, on the line where his t-shirt had ridden up.

“What do you want from me?” he said in the quiet that followed.

Nothing, seconds of empty nothing and Loki cried out. 

“Damn you! Damn you to hell! Just beat me and get it over with. I can’t take this.”

Again there was no response. Loki let go of the table, raised up and turned to look behind him, concerned that something had happened to En. En stood calmly, the strap in his hands. He met Loki’s gaze. Loki wanted to hit him. Wanted to wipe that unreadable closed look off his face. The two men remained like that, neither of them moving, En relaxed and quiet and Loki twisted half around his palms on the table and restless agitation in every taunt line of his body.

“I can’t En. I’ll break.”

En took mercy on him, stepped forward, cupped Loki’s jaw and kissed him gently. He smoothed a lock of Loki’s hair off his face and placed a hand between his shoulder blades urging him back down over the table.

“It’s alright Kitten… I’ll put you back together.”

Loki made a half gasping sound, a sob held back. He stretched over the table. Grabbed the edge. Shut his eyes. 

“I hate that I love you.” Loki said and tears wet his eyelashes.

The strap slapped over his rump and the heat was comforting.

“I think about killing you.”

His ass burned as another blow struck lower. The pain was better now.

“If you were dead I’d be free. If you were dead I wouldn’t have feel anything ever again.” 

The strap hit the underside of his cheeks lifting him onto his toes and he yelped. It hurt so good. His own words hurt and he was ripping himself open for En and he had to, he needed to make some sacrifice, some reparation for abandoning him.

“I need, oh fuck En! I need to fight you. I have to. If I didn’t hate you I wouldn’t love you.”

En’s hand was on his lower back again. A slight pressure that anchored him. Loki was shivering from exposing his tortured thoughts.

“I know Kitten. There’s my good boy. I’m going to beat you now and you are going to take won’t you?’

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Loki took a shaky breath. Another. He felt like he was being split open. He wanted to yell “Because you get off on beating me and I like the pain. Because I know you are going to fuck me after and the sex will be so intense I won’t care what you do before.” But those, for all the truth in them were lies in the end. He knew why he let En do this, why he craved it. Why he ran away when he couldn’t face it.

“Because I need it.” There you bastard, I said it. Are you fucking happy now?

“What do you need?” En persisted.

Leave it alone, En please leave me a little bit of myself.

“I can’t…”

“Yes you can, Love.”

Love. That was the second time En called him that. Loki shivered. Admitted the lie he’d said two nights ago.

“I... need to trust... and I can’t…I don’t… I don’t trust you, I don't trust anyone.” 

There. Fuck you. Let me tear this all down. I don’t trust you and I hate you and I want to kill you. 

“Hmmm?”

Loki shivered. 

“Fine!” he snapped. “I need to trust you and the only time I can is when I let you beat me.” 

En kissed the back of his neck.

“See Honey, that wasn’t so hard was it?”

For once Loki answered him.

“Yes it was, you bastard. It hurts like hell. You do this shit to me, you break me apart and then you say it wasn’t hard. Fuck you. It’s hard and it hurts and I hate it. I hate it so much and you keep doing it to me. Don’t you dare try to tell me it isn’t hard.” 

Loki shook in rage. He beat his hands on the table top in frustration.

“There’s my Kitten…. Love those sweet little claws.”

En chuckled and Loki really wanted to kill him, wanted to shove a knife in his side and watch him bleed.

“Hard or easy you need it, you need to be broken open.” En continued. “You got so much poison under your scars, Lolo. It has to come out or it will destroy you. I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s gonna hurt, but you can take it Baby. You’re stronger than you think you are.”

En rubbed his hand over Loki’s red and tender bottom and down the stripes on his thighs.

“And you sweet ass is gonna hurt a lot more by the time I finish. I’m not gonna stop, Honey, I'm not gonna stop until I know you understand. You were a selfish brat. You’ve been a selfish spoiled little brat for a while Lolo. You are going to behave yourself from now on.”

Before Loki could answer the strap came down hard over his butt. He jumped at the unexpected blow, took a quick breath to answer and was hit again. His yip of pain was drowned out by the next hard smack of leather on his reddened ass. Loki tried to brace himself but the strap was flying over his bottom and the back of his thighs. He grasped the edge of the table and tried to hold still. It went from burning pain to throbbing hurt to sheer agony. He writhed under En’s hand and still the strap licked over his bruised flesh. A rain of fiery blows from the back of his knees to the top of his rump. They fell in no order, speeding up or slowing down as En saw fit. Loki couldn’t predict where or when the next slap was going to take place. All he do was try to endure. He stopped trying to fight the sounds he made. His yips became yelps, and then cries. 

The light touch of En’s hand was the only thing that helped him stay in place. He lost track of the number of strikes. His grip slipped from the edge of the table and his hands drummed on the wooden top as he was overloaded with sensation. Still it went on. Loki’s cries became sobs, became strangled screams and he twisted and squirmed trying to avoid the strap. It struck on his sides and En stopped the beating. He grasped each of Loki’s hands and replaced them on the edge of the table.

“Hold on and don’t wiggle around so much, Kitten. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Loki found himself laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the statement, but the strap sang through the air again and ripped the sound from his throat. He hung onto the table like it was the only thing keeping him afloat in a storm tortured ocean. He couldn’t keep his feet on the floor, couldn't keep from bending his knees to protect the back of his thighs. En didn’t try to stop him, hitting his thighs whenever Loki unfolded his legs and concentrating the majority of damage on his welted ass. Loki stopped struggling. All he could do was breathe. En would stop when he wished and Loki had no say in it, he had to trust him or get up from the table. He stayed in place. Something inside him snapped at the decision and he let go. Let go of his fear and his rage and his cherished grudges. In a moment he was floating, high on the endorphin rush. The slap of leather on abused flesh, distant and unimportant. It continued for several unresisted blows. 

Then it stopped. The sound was replaced by En’s harsh breathing. His hand ran over the curve of Loki's butt. It was cool on his burning skin. 

“You still with me Lolo?”

“Uh huh.” Loki managed, content to lay where he was.

En put the strap on the table and walked around him. Loki stared at the wall, noticing all the tiny cracks in the shiny paint.

“You are so beautiful like this, Kitten.”

En’s hand was back on his ass, stroking over the raised marks the strap laid into his skin. It felt pleasantly cold after the beating. His fingertips slid between Loki’s buttocks and rubbed over his anus. It wasn’t arousing, it simply was and Loki felt no need to respond. En stepped in front of him, slid a hand between his face and the table top and lifted his head. Loki saw that En’s pants were open and his fat cock was erect. He blinked and said nothing. He felt warm and hazy, like he was wrapped up in layers of blankets and didn’t want to do anything to change that. He hurt, every breath he took was echoed by a pulse of pain, but the pain was somehow a separate thing, locked away in another room of his mind.

“Can you open your mouth Lolo?”

“Mmmm hmmm.” Loki answered and did so, the weight of his head supported by En’s hand on his chin. 

Loki’s breath came easier this way and he shut his eyes. His lips were brushed by the smooth skin of the tip of En’s cock.

“You got any words in your head Honey?”

Loki shook his head no, his eyes still closed.

“That’s okay.” 

En’s cock slid into his mouth, the taste of his male musk and sweat familiar. The warm weight felt good on Loki's tongue and pressing against the inside of his cheeks, sliding on the roof of his mouth. He breathed around it, the scent going deep into his brain. It was another level of comfort. Loki closed his lips and sucked gently. It was no attempt to give pleasure, only a response to the touch. En made a soft sound and began to slowly fuck into his mouth. 

Loki drifted. Safe and warm and so relaxed. The wood supported him, warmed by his skin, and En’s hands cradled his head. En’s thumbs stroked his cheekbones as his cock moved in an easy rhythm. Short thrusts that Loki didn’t have to pay attention to. En was talking now and the words were meaningless as bird song. A low pleasant murmur of sound that washed over him. On some level he knew that En was praising him, but it truly made no difference. What mattered was the delicate carved lines on the edge of the table he could feel under his fingertips. There were three of them and Loki mildly wondered how they had been made so precisely. It was an old table. The edge was rounded with wear and yet the lines were still distinct. Loki noticed drool dripping down his chin and he swallowed. En gave a low moan and his rocking thrusts paused. Loki yawned around the cock in his mouth and En moaned again. Loki closed his lips and sucked for a several more strokes. He sighed when En pulled his cock away. His head was laid back on the table and Loki went back to exploring the carved lines with his fingers.

It took a third inquiry for Loki to realize En was asking a question as he as he rubbed slick fingers between Loki’s sore butt cheeks. It was the thick warmth of his cock sliding over his hole that drew his attention enough for him to bother with the meaning of the words.

“Lolo, you need to pay attention to me for a minute. Okay?”

Loki made an agreeing sound. It was hard to focus and he didn’t want to be bothered.

“I’m gonna fuck your ass Baby, but I need you to talk to me … tell me you’re Okay with that.”

There was a space of a few seconds or minutes or maybe even hours, time was something else that didn’t matter, before Loki understood En was waiting for an answer.

“Is fine.” Loki slurred out.

He really didn’t care, the table was so much more important than his body. He moved his hands over the polished wood, his eyes closed. Feeling the slight hollows worn into the surface over a hundred or two hundred maybe even three hundred years of use. How many years had it lived before then? How many hundreds of years of standing tall in some tropical forest? Growing towards the warm sun, the same sun that was warming Loki’s skin. That was melting him into the wood like chocolate on a hot sidewalk. En was pushing him farther down, Loki felt the slow thrust into his ass, opening him filling him with lazy heat inside and out. En’s voice was the soft babbling of a stream that fed his roots, so cold, buried deep in the ground. The sun held him in its embrace and the warm wind blew his branches back and forth as the earth breathed. It was good to be loved like this. He should have become a tree long ago. Even the fire that scoured his bark was a part of the love. He was happy, the men with axes could never touch him here. A small earthquake shook his trunk and rain spilled warm on his skin where he lay in dappled shade.

“You’re mine Loki. My beautiful boy. ” The tree said, towering over him, its bark smooth and darkly tanned, silver leaves dancing in the breeze. Loki smiled as he was rolled over onto his back.

“Open your eyes Kitten. Time to wake up.”

“Nooo..” Loki protested as the warmth faded into drifting tattered clouds.

But it was too late. Something was hard under his butt and it hurt, he hurt and En was holding him upright as he sat on the table. A wet stickiness was rapidly cooling on his sore bottom and seeping from his fucked hole. He blinked open his eyes. En had a smirk of satisfaction on his face. Loki thought about being annoyed, but he didn’t really feel it. He yawned instead and wished he'd bothered to put shoes on after the show. He bare feet were cold.

“You fucked me.” He said. “You fucked my ass and I was asleep.” It was statement maybe even a question, not an accusation. 

“I asked Honey, and you didn’t fall asleep until after you agreed.”

Loki rubbed his eyes and pushed off the table, he winced as his feet took his weight. 

“My ass hurts.” He glanced at En. “Not from fucking though. Norns, you beat the crap out of me. Did you like it?”

“Which one?” En said. He handed Loki the box of wet wipes from the desk.

Loki cleaned himself and then wiped the traces of cum and sweat from the table top. He felt protective of the wood and hoped the wipes wouldn't leave a mark on the polish.

“Come on En, I know you enjoyed beating me. Did you like fucking me when I was passed out?” Loki tried to bend over to pull up his pants and hissed in pain. 

“Um hmmm.” En agreed. “Let me help you there Lolo.” 

En squatted down, lifted Loki's free foot and guided it into the leg of his boxers while Loki placed one hand on his shoulder to balance. He untangled Loki’s pants, repeated the process and pulled them both up. Loki hissed a sharply as the clothing dragged over his welted skin. 

“Is that why you once drugged me? So you could fuck me when I was asleep?”

En raised his eyebrow. “I drugged you because you needed to rest, and I knew you would stay awake all day worrying. I didn’t fuck you then, Baby."

En went to the small sink and washed his hands while Loki smoothed down his t-shirt and tried to adjust his pants to a more comfortable position. En ran a comb through his hair and straightened his tie. He glanced at Loki when he limped up to the sink.

“Does that bother you?” En asked. 

Loki washed his face and hands fixed his hair pulling the gelled spikes back into shape.

“No.” He smiled at En, leaned forward and kissed him, a tender brush of lips that En returned. 

“I think I like the idea. You want to do it again, all you need do is ask.” He tilted his head and grinned. “But you have to film it, so I can watch afterwards.”

En picked up his phone and wiggled it at Loki. “I did this time.” 

Loki laughed and made a grab for the phone.

“After dinner.” En said pocketing it. “Let’s eat downstairs tonight.”

“You only want to eat down here so I have to limp across the dining room.” 

En ushered him out of the office and then offered Loki his arm.

“That’s right Baby.” En said as Loki slipped under his arm and tucked himself to En’s side instead.

En brushed his fingers over the darkening bruise on Loki’s cheek. “I want everyone to know what happens to my boy when he gets out of line.” 

Loki nipped at his fingers and En squeezed his jaw. “Behave yourself over dinner or I’ll be tempted to pull those jeans down and give you a few more swats.”

“That’s not a threat En.” Loki said as they passed through the double doors back into the lights and noise of the restaurant. “That’s a reward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least En and Loki enjoyed themselves. Kinda. Well En did for sure.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation over dinner.

En admired how Loki strutted into the restaurant. He’d been a lot more relaxed these past two weeks. The beating and Loki’s willing submission to it, his admissions, and even, En suspected, his aborted runaway attempt had acted like a catharsis. He was, En noticed getting rid of some of his unconscious behaviors while still retaining all of his vicious instincts.

Loki continued to palm En’s cuff links, tie tack and watch off his nightstand every night, and he still picked up any cash he left out. The items were always in the drawer on Loki’s nightstand under whatever book or magazine he’d been reading. If En didn’t retrieve them they would appear back in his jewelry drawer or on the bar. Curiously, Loki never stole anything from the jewelry drawer. His finger’s still twitched when he walked by a tip, but he no longer touched the money, much less picked it up. He’d always returned the tips, but the urge to steal was obviously active. On his way to En’s table Loki did palm the remains of a steak off an uncleared table, tucking it into a napkin and shoving the meat into his pocket. He was so deft, that had En not known what he was doing, he’d think Loki had only paused to get a napkin.

The food gathering was an almost unconscious habit. Loki didn’t, as far as En knew, eat his thefts. He stashed the perishables in the wet bar fridge in the penthouse and non-perishables in a plastic shoe box under the bed. En threw away the older food every few days and Loki never made a comment. En wondered why a rich kid, who had grown up in the midst of plenty, had the need to make sure he had a supply of food at hand. A year of poverty shouldn’t ingrain the habit that deeply. Nor should he feel he had to hide what he was doing. En had noticed that Loki never ordered or took much food from the buffet, but if they were dining together he’d finish everything off of En’s plate. He’d done it the night they’d met and he still did it. He made a mental note to ask Thor, when he and Fandral returned on Wednesday.

Loki dropped down in the seat across from En with a grin. He was wearing an oversized black tank top with 'Agent of Chaos' and a picture of the Joker plastered on the front. It fell low enough down his chest that one nipple piercing was visible. His hair was brushed off his face with a thin braid that fell just in front of his ear. He was barefoot of course. It was Loki’s constant and petty rebellion against the restaurant’s posted rules. In a way it was a rebellion against En, since he owned the hotel. Loki’s way of asserting his independence. That made En smile, if Loki wasn’t his boy, he’d never be able to flaunt the rules in the first place. 

“You look happy, Kitten.” En said, “Good show?”

“Yes.” Loki smirked, obviously happy about something else but holding it back. 

En knew he wanted the information cajoled out of him, but decided to not play Loki’s game. 

“That’s nice. There’s fresh sand dabs, caught this morning flown in this afternoon. The clam chowder and sourdough bread would go nice with them. What do you say?”

“Fine.” Loki said, with a frown.

He shifted on his chair and fussed with the bell he’d tied to the end of his braid. A waitress came to the table, took their order and left. En put on his reading glasses, removed a small notebook from his inside jacket pocket and rechecked the numbers on last evening’s take. He watched Loki surreptitiously as he worked. Loki rearranged the silverware around his plate as though it was an important task. He took a slow sip of the wine when it arrived and shot a sulky glance at En. En pretended not to notice and continued to check numbers and make notes in the ledger. Loki gave a dramatic sigh and proceeded to pull his slice of sourdough into little pieces. En was chuckling inside. Whatever news Loki had was eating him up and he was fidgeting on his chair with impatience. En decided to throw him a bone. When their chowder arrived he tucked the account book back in his pocket and asked.

“Anything else you want to share, Honey?”

“No!” said Loki, automatically contrary. 

He started dipping his bread in the soup to have something to occupy his hands. En smiled, returned the glasses to their case and began eating. 

“You know, Baby,” En said when the fish was brought. “This reminds me. We’ve been invited to a fishing party. I was thinking we could include Blondie and Errol. They will be back in town and I bet they could use a little vacation.”

“Fishing? Since when do you go fishing? It sounds dull as fuck all, En.”

“You have such a dirty mouth Loki, what did I tell you about that?”

“That you love it?”

“You’re a little shit.”

“Who has dirty mouth now? And you didn’t answer my question. Why would you want to go on a fishing expedition?”

“Party Baby, not expedition. Because fishing is the excuse for our host to take his yacht out on the lake for a couple of days. I need to do a little wheeling and dealing. You don’t have to fish. There will be live music and drinks and girls and some of the lighter drugs. That should be enough to keep you amused.”

“Thor would like the party, but me? How is this fun for me? Since the girls will be off limits and getting drunk on a boat isn’t my idea of a good time. Nor is spending time in Thor’s oafish, drunken presence.”

“You’re making assumptions again, Kitten. I want you there.”

“So I’ll be going?”

“Mmm hmm.” En put his fork down and pushed his plate toward Loki, who started in on the remains of his baked potato. “Now tell me what’s got you all excited, Honey. You came in here bouncing like a puppy with a new ball. I know you want to spill Baby, so spill.” 

Loki gave a frustrated sigh. This was as close to begging as En was going to get.

“They are leaving. Like rabbits before a field fire.” Loki couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“Who are?”

“The Aesir. They are grabbing whatever they can carry and running. The airport is open again and the flights out are packed full. There has been an insurrection in the army and it’s now in the hands of the peasants." Loki paused to spear a carrot slice En had left and pop it in his mouth. He pushed the empty plate away. "One other thing, and En it’s delicious. The insurrection is being led by a woman, Hela, who claims Odin is her father and she’s the true heir to the throne.”

“Is that true?”

“Is she his daughter? Possibly? He made mother miserable most of her life. I doubt that fucking around on his part would be off limits. If she is his bastard, she has my blessing. I do not want the damn throne and I’ve been disinherited anyway.”

“Anything else?”

“That was all I could find. One short paragraph. The Russian intervention in the Ukraine is getting all the attention. No one cares about a tiny city state’s border war. Odin kicked out all the reporters so we’re only getting news from outside.” 

Loki did bounce in his seat and his glee was contagious. En chuckled at his excitement.

“En, it means my plan worked. The Nobles are out of power. Odin’s on his own. I hope Hela drags him before a tribunal for crimes against the people. Norns, a public trial would be so perfect!”

“See Honey, all you had to do was give it a little more time. You got all upset for nothing.”

“I didn’t want a slaughter, and until Hela made her move, it looked inevitable." Loki paused and the smile vanished. "How is this going to affect your investments? If you were supplying arms won’t you lose money now that there is no market?”

“Baby you gotta think big here. This little war is almost over, but as you said, the Russia Ukraine thing is heating up. Don’t you think all those little ex-soviet countries are gonna be in the market, wanting some insurance that they won’t be next? And who has people in place to buy unwanted weapons at a discount now that your little dust up is ending?” En considered. “Well not actually my people, but I’m in the pot of investors so I’ll get my share.”

The waitress came and cleared away their dishes and returned with coffee and two narrow slices of cheesecake. Loki slide his dessert toward En.

“You know I don’t like cheesecake. Why do you always order it for me?”

“So I can eat yours.” En said. “Now listen up Lolo, Here’s my plan. I’m gonna send a car on Wednesday, pickup Blondie and Errol and whisk them off to the yacht. We keep them out of touch there until Friday. The match is on Saturday and afterward you can spring your news OK?”

Loki twisted his napkin. He hadn’t returned to Reno with En and En hadn’t asked him to. They had avoided the subject of the fight by mutual agreement. Now he was forced to confront the issue of Thor going up against a killer again. His stomach knotted.

En reached across the table and closed his fingers around Loki’s hand. “Loki, it will be alright. Val has Bruce completely under control.”

Loki’s doubt showed on his face. He pulled his hand away.

“If it gets too bad, Strange has a little something to calm him down. Nothing banned, and he swears it’s undetectable. No worries, Baby. Besides… I thought you wanted Blondie out of commission for a while.”

“I want him off his feet to keep him out of Asgard so he won’t get killed. It defeats the purpose if… if your champion kills him first.” 

Loki drank some of the coffee, holding the cup between hands gone suddenly cold.

“Loki that’s enough. I gave you my word. I don’t like you doubting me.” En’s voice had an edge to it and Loki looked away. He took a deep breath and turned back to the older man.

“Alright.” He took another sip. “If I’m on the yacht, who is taking my place in the show Friday night? And Saturday for that matter. I assume you want me in Reno with you?”

“The TaWhores, the band who recorded your theme song. You were bragging. I gave them a listen and their stuff is pretty good, catchy. I booked them through Sunday. Their lead singer is quite a looker.”

“She’s engaged to the drummer and you don’t want to cross her. Megan is a little psycho when it comes to Precious.”

“Slow down Lolo. I was only appreciating. Speaking of shows...” En had on his calculating look and Loki wondered what he was up to. “I hinted to our host you would be willing to put one on for him.”

Loki shrugged. “I could try. I’d have to cut back a lot of the tricks, if it’s windy out on the lake.”

“No Baby, not your act, a more… a private show…” En did his weird eye flutter and Loki got a bad feeling about this. He only did the eye thing when he thought he was being sexy. "He wants to see more of you, if you know what I mean..."

“What? You want me to do a strip tease? With Thor there?” Loki’s voice rose. 

“Hey, hey, Kitten settle down. I said a private show. Not in front of Blondie, it’ll be just me and him and a couple of the guests.”

Loki was anything but enthusiastic, but he gave a halfhearted nod. “I guess I could do something like that, just don’t expect me to pole dance.”

En smiled, reached over and took the half empty cup from Loki’s hand.

“I need you to do more than a strip show, Baby. You like girls, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The things you do for love. Or are asked to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boat trip and the brothers meet up again. Secrets shared. Loki slips into a new role.

The yacht, while nowhere near the largest on the lake, was larger than Loki expected, housing several staterooms on two decks, a large indoor lounging area, a dining room and redundantly, a small pool. They arrived just after ten and En whisked Loki from their room and introduced him to their host. 

“You remember Mr. Shaw, right Sweet Pea?”

Loki vaguely recalled seeing him at a couple of events, but the man had made no impression. He politely took the extended hand. The guy was of an age with En, but instead of En’s lean grace, Shaw was broad and solid and heavy, his once muscular body growing soft with age. Even his expensively tailored clothing couldn't fully disguise the expanding belly. His eyes were a washed out grey and his thinning hair was an unlikely shade of shoe polish black. He held Loki’s hand past the point of good manners, rubbing his thumb over the back, while his greedy pale eyes ran up and down Loki's body.

“Yes, I meet Mr. Shaw at…” He trailed off and Shaw jumped in as Loki hoped he would.

“Emma’s little get together. Call me Sebastian, son.”

“I really couldn’t sir.” Loki said. “I’m afraid that would be too….” He glanced at En as if seeking permission. “informal.”

“Really Seb.” En said with a laugh. Loki was pleased at the way Shaw flinched at ‘Seb.’ “He’s subcontracting, not joining your little family. Let’s keep it on the purely professional level.”

“Of course.” Shaw said, dropping Loki’s hand after a final powerful squeeze.

Loki had a strong desire to wash his hands. 

“Have my guests arrived?” En said as they walked up to the bow. “Their special equipment in place?” 

“Yes and yes, En Dwi. Installed and tested. Don’t worry, I'm the communication expert here.”

“I thought you were in robotics?”

“Advanced robotics which are remotely controlled by computers. Computes talking to computers En Dwi. Regardless, your boys will be off line for the cruise. Will they be joining us later?”

“No.”

“Too bad. The big guy... ” Shaw stopped at En's head shake. Loki was glad. The urge to punch the man was increasing with every second he spent in his company.

“Umm hmm. Anyone else arriving?”

“No, we were waiting for you.” 

The ‘as usual’ was unsaid but Loki could feel it. He could also feel the pulse of the big engines as the boat pulled away from the dock. He was slightly nervous though doing his best to hide it. He’d never spent any time on the water and the lake was huge. The wind as they stepped onto the foredeck was cool and steady and Loki regretted his choice of clothing even more. 

******

Loki had bought the clothes for other reasons, but put the outfit together in retaliation to En’s insistence that he behave himself and stop upsetting the staff. The upsetting the staff rebuke, was because of Loki’s consistent refusal to wear a shirt and shoes in the restaurant, in defiance of the posted signs. Loki, for the next two days, ordered all his meals from room service. However he’d been laying plans and this morning he’d launched them, timing his jaunt to the breakfast bar to coincide with En’s morning walkthrough inspection.

En had turned the corner into the buffet area, only to be confronted with the sight of long legs in over the knee black riding boots that led up to a view of a scarlet silk covered butt under a scandalously short ruffled black cheerleader skirt. The back of the exposed thighs were marked with purpled bruises. When Loki straightened up from his unnecessarily deep bend as he reached across the buffett, there were more fading bruises displayed above the skirt. He turned with a red painted smile to En, holding his plate in one hand and the fruit tongs in the other. He dropped a strawberry on his plate.

“Good morning Darling.” Loki said. “I’m following the rules now, as you requested. Shirt..” Loki gestured to the three inch wide band of black silk that hung from spaghetti straps baring his pierced nipples and covering only his lower ribs, “and shoes.” He pointed the toe of the polished riding boot. “You had only need ask.” 

En slid a hand around the back of Loki’s neck, clasping the black leather and chain collar he’d added as the final touch of subversive defiance.

“I’m so glad you’re already dressed, Baby.” En said, leaning in to brush his lips over Loki’s. “You can eat in the car. We have a boat to catch.”

******

Loki shivered in the wind and silently cursed En to the frozen depths of hel, for not giving him time to change. And he’d had time, as their suitcases were sent for and the car brought around. He’d finished his breakfast in the front of the casino, balancing his plate in one hand and his coffee sitting on a slot machine while En left final orders with the manager. Loki sighed, he should know better than to try this shit with En, it always backfired. 

He’d been abandoned at the rail while En and Shaw went off to meet the other important people. Loki looked out across the water and watched the shore recede. A waiter, dressed all in white, brought him a second cup of coffee, fortified with sugar and a layer of cream. No alcohol, thank the Norns. He glanced back at the people milling around the deck. Mostly older men, a few middle aged ones and lots of young scantily dressed women. He wasn’t the only arm candy freezing its butt off. The majority of the women were clad in bikinis with only a thin short robe to keep off the breeze. The thought didn’t comfort him. Just when he though it couldn’t get worse, he heard his name called in a familiar deep rumble of disapproval. 

“Loki!” Thor growled. “What in niflhel are you wearing?”

Loki turned. At least he had someone to take out his bad temper on.

“They’re called clothes Thor. A lot of people are wearing them this season.”

“Not like that they aren’t. Have you no sense of decency?”

Loki lounged back on the rail, took a last sip off his coffee and smirked over the rim at Thor. Damn his brother looked good. He’d been in shape before they left for his training, but now he was positively huge, his massive arms bared in a tank top. He’d had a haircut too, his long locks traded for a shorter style. Even his legs were bigger, the muscles defined on his short clad thighs.

“Thor, you should know by this time that I have no decency whatsoever. It’s not as though you are wearing that much more.” Loki set his empty cup down. “But if they offend you so much I can always remove them.”

Loki reached up and slide a strap off his shoulder. Thor glared at him. 

“Don’t Loki, I’m not in the mood for your games. Why must you always be so difficult?”

“It’s my nature, brother. I am well named and I, for one, will not change it to meet circumstances.”

“I don’t understand what you are on about Loki. Your name is just a name, you aren’t required to embody its evil reputation.”

Loki cut across his words. “Names are never just names in Asgard. Are you not aware of that Thor Odinson? They are destiny. How else could an Odin Borson rule in Asgard for five hundred years? Did you think Thor would rule one day? Even your ignorance could not be so vast.”

Thor frowned. “I’ll rule as long as there is an Asgard to rule. Father is already preparing to step down. That’s why I came to you for help. I wanted you to be my advisor.” Thor shook his head. “And you have changed your nature. You weren’t like this at home.”

“No. I was like this at home. I only clothed myself in lies so that I could survive. I’ve taken them off now. If you don’t like the view you can turn away. That’s what you said after all. “It’s better if we don’t see each other again.” Were those not your words?”

“Damn it Loki. I can’t just abandon you. I’m not blind to what you are doing. You flaunt his abuse as if it were some badge of honor. You, who never chained your tongue for the slightest insult. I don’t understand why you allow it.”

“I allow it Thor. That is the point. It’s not abuse precisely because I allow it. It’s under my control no matter how it appears to you. In Asgard my tongue was the only thing I was allowed to unchain. Even there, you conspired to keep me in fetters. Or do you forget all the times you told me to bear your friends’ contempt and disrespect when I was made the object of their base humor?”

“You took things in the manner they were not intended. My friends jested with all so. There wasn’t anyone who didn’t come in for a share of it. You were always too sensitive.”

“I was a prince” Loki snarled. “and you allowed, no encouraged them to treat me, as they did the commoners. Tell me brother, when were you the butt of their insolent jokes and disparaging words? When was Tyr, or Uncle Ve or even the youngest of our cousins spoken to in that manner? No it was only Loki, Loki the trickster, Loki the liar, Loki the mischief maker who deserved such disdain. Tell me again how I don’t have to be my namesake. It’s a role I was trained for my entire life.”

“I’ll admit that perhaps they went a bit too far, but Loki…”

“A bit too far?” Loki’s voice was louder as his anger crept into rage. “Did you not see how everyone in Asgard hated me? I had no friends, no companions, no respect from Noble or commoner alike.”

“Now you are exaggerating. Of course they respected you. You are the second born prince. You are in line for the throne after myself.”

Loki laughed without humor. “No Thor I am not. I was never an Odinson. Or did you not know I was disinherited from birth? That he called me Odinson in public, was only to save his reputation. Loki Laufeyjarson is how Odin named me, Thor. Its on all my official papers.”

Thor looked more confused than angry. 

“I don’t understand. Frigga is your mother, our mother. Who is Laufey?”

Loki suddenly lost all desire to fight with Thor in the face of his puzzlement. He looked beyond him to where Fandral stood a few paces back, biting his lip.

“Fandral knows, do you not?” 

Fandral said nothing, though he nodded in affirmation.

“Knows what?” Thor asked.

“Damn!” Loki swore softly. “Odin really did keep you ignorant, didn’t he? Where you to only be a figurehead? Who did he truly intend to run the country?”

“Loki what are you on about? Who is Laufey and why would Odin name her as your mother?”

“She was born Marie and her father was Pierre Lafaye. He served with Odin in the Middle East along with Heimdall. After he moved to Asgard he changed his last name to Pétur Laufey. One of the requirements to immigration is to take an appropriate name. Don’t tell me you seriously thought a black soldier from Nigeria was born Heimdall?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it all. But if this Marie woman is really your mother then why did he claim our mother had…?”

“Committed adultery?” Loki provided. “You can say the words, Thor, they won’t hurt her now.”

“I won’t disparage her memory. She was my mother. You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Only your mother now?” Loki turned away and looked back over the water. “I did answer but you don’t hear. You didn’t even know her. You only knew the lie. Frigga the queen, Frigga the mother. You never knew Marie the woman, who was given to a man older than her father. The woman who gave up her friends, her language and her very name to play out the part written in the stone of tradition. But the lie was so much more appealing wasn’t it?”

“Loki you cannot mean it. Why would she change her name?”

Loki turned back to him with a look of disbelief.

“Really Thor? You haven’t put it together yet? Five hundred years of Odin and Frigga ruling Asgard. King Odin Borson yet never a king Bor? Generation after generation of Balders and Thors, Hoenirs and Hodrs, Tyrs and Ves and Bragis though never an Odin born, yet still one to claim the throne? No girl child ever named Frigga, yet every Queen is called Frigga? Always a Heimdall to gather intelligence? A Tyr in charge of the Army? Don’t you understand what the royal family of the Aesir have been doing all these years?”

Thor looked blankly at Loki. “I know the names are traditional, but Loki I still don’t see what you are getting at. Do you mean father changed his name as well?”

“Fuck!” Loki threw up his hands and glanced back at his brother. “Of course he did. They were fanatics, Thor. Our ancestors were religious fanatics. They left Iceland and have spent the last half millennia reliving the reign of the gods to hold off Ragnarok. Right up until your father was so pissed at his wife that he named her bastard kid Loki. Now do you understand why they all hate me?” 

“You can’t believe that Loki. Fandral, tell him he’s wrong.”

Fandral twisted the bottom of his impeccably tailored shirt and looked anywhere but at Thor.

“Fandral!” Thor boomed, looking from his friend to his brother.

“He’s right Thor. The council was horrified when they heard what Odin had named his younger son. My father said they demanded he change it and he refused. Some advocated adopting Loki out of the country or worse. They almost started a revolution over it. He only got them to accept when he swore that he’d…” Fandral trailed off.

“What Fandral?” Loki said softly. His face held an expression of exaggerated nonchalance, but his eyes glittered. “What did Odin swear? I haven’t heard this story.”

Fandral was silent and Thor urged him. “Fandral, what did my father swear to the Jarls?”

Fandral spoke hardly above a whisper. “He swore to break him. He swore to break Loki and chain him to the throne of Asgard, and thus destroy the threat of Ragnarok forever.”

Thor's angry swearing was sliced into silence by Loki's high pitched wild laughter. He beat the railing and howled. He cackled until tears streaked his face. Thor grabbed his shoulders and spun him around and Loki only laughed harder. 

“That’s why!” Loki half sobbed, “That’s why he wants me back. He's afraid I'll show up in a boat made dead man's nails leading an army of giants.”

“Loki stop it! Stop this!” Thor shouted giving Loki a hard shake.

En looked up from his conversation as the sound of Thor’s voice overrode the beat of the band. He excused himself and strode across the wide deck to where Thor was yelling at his hysterical brother and Fandral was fussing around them, trying to calm them both.

“Loki, is there a problem?” En's calm voice cut through Loki’s madness and brought him back to the present.

“No. Norns no! It’s just too perfect, that’s all En. Too fucking, beautifully perfect.” Loki wiped tears from his eyes with the back of his hand, took a deep breath, hiccuped and giggled.

That drew a concerned look from all three men and Loki had to bite his tongue to keep from exploding in laughter again. He shoved at Thor’s chest and Thor released him, confusion and a sick kind of horror on his older brother’s face. Whether it was at Loki’s reaction or at the truth he’d just heard, Loki didn’t know, but he found it irresistibly amusing. He turned to En and buried his face against the older man’s shoulder to muffle his sniggering. En put a steadying hand on his back and glared at Thor. Thor glared back. Loki could feel the tension in the air and the thought of them squaring off like a couple of junkyard dogs over him, made him tremble as he tried to suppress another wave of delirious glee.

It was Fandral who was able to finally get through to Thor and draw him away, before there was another confrontation. En held Loki for a few minutes after they left, while he got himself under control. When he'd finally stopped chortling and dried his eyes a second time, En asked.

“You want to tell me what that was all about?”

“Yes. But later En, if it’s all the same to you. I need a drink first.”

“Okay Baby. Why don’t you go to the room and fix your face. Maybe get a light jacket?”

Loki nodded. 

“But keep on the rest. You look cute Lolo.” 

En patted his silk clad bottom as he turned away and Loki smiled. Maybe his clothing choice hadn’t been so bad after all.

*****

Loki returned to the upper deck a little while later with En’s linen jacket draped over his shoulders. He chose to wear it, both to show his alliance and because Loki liked being surrounded by En’s scent of expensive cologne and tobacco. The boat had dropped anchor and the wind had diminished, the sun shone warm on his bared skin. Loki wandered aft, sipping at his drink. He looked down at the lower deck where several of the men were settling into fishing chairs. A guide was baiting lines and placing rods in their holders. Thor and Fandral was among the group, Thor listening to the guide and Fandral chatting up one of the bikini clad women. Loki felt an arm around waist and leaned back into the familiar embrace. 

“Everything alright Kitten?” En said and nuzzled the side of Loki’s neck.

“Yes." Loki tilted his head to give En better access. "It was, a bit much. Family stuff. Are you really interested? Or are you prying out of habit?”

“Interested, but it can wait for us to be alone. I have someone you need to meet.” 

“Mmm…’kay” Loki said, allowing En to steer him forward and into one of the upper suites. He was feeling mellowed by this, his second drink. A shot of Glenfiddich had been needed before he felt up to returning to the party. He doubted En would begrudge him the alcohol, only the opportunity to feed it to Loki a swallow at a time. 

The cabin was extravagant, double the size of theirs and outfitted in teak and polished brass as if they were on a sailing vessel from a previous century. Even the electric lights were housed in faux kerosene lanterns. Except no antique ship had massive glass doors that gave onto a roped in balcony fitted with Adirondack chairs, nor an entertainment center tarted up with 16th century world maps. Loki wanted to laugh at the pretentiousness of the decor. It was too much money meets seafood restaurant aesthetic with a bit of ye olde pirate ship thrown in for good measure. He managed to get his expression back under control before Shaw joined them with a young woman at his side.

The woman, girl really, was young, maybe younger then Loki. Slender, of medium height with chestnut brown hair and a warm complexion. She was dressed conservatively in a deep blue, knee length high collared dress. When she raised her eyes they were of the same intensely blue shade. She held her hands behind her back and stood beautifully poised. Shoulders back, head raised and eyes once again downcast.

“This is Tania, Kitten.” En said. “What do you think?” 

Loki moved from En’s side to approach the young woman. En saw how he had instantly shifted his posture upon seeing the girl. He’d lost his nervous energy, his cocky swagger and smirk. Now was moving with a controlled, centered grace that belied his cheerleader meets hooker outfit. His face was expressionless. He ran a fingertip along her jaw and asked.

“How old?”

“Nineteen.” Shaw said.

“I’ll need to see documentation.”

“You doubt my word?”

Loki ignored Shaw and gave En a measured look. A look shared between equals that said Shaw was a fool. En had seen Loki assert himself before, but never to this extent. En smiled. 

“Show him her ID Seb. We have a right to protect ourselves.”

Shaw grumbled and disappeared into the other room, returning shortly with a purse. He fished out a wallet and showed Loki the girl’s identification. Loki passed it to En who nodded and handed it back to Shaw. Loki undid the top button of the girl’s dress.

“Limits?”

“No scat or watersports.” Shaw answered.

“Neither of us are into that.” Loki said wrinkling his nose.

“Anything else?”

“No.”

Loki made a happy humming sound. En whispered something to Shaw while Loki undid a second button revealing the collar the girl wore under the dress.

“No permanent marks.” Shaw said.

“Pity.” Loki said and the girl glanced up at him, her eyes wide and her lips parted. Loki smiled a wolf’s smile, all teeth and hunger. "She'd be improved with a few carefully placed scars."

“Do you agree to submit to me willingly?” He cupped Tania’s chin.

“The bitch wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“I wasn’t speaking to you ‘Seb’.” Loki said, without taking his gaze from the girl’s face.

“Do I need to remind you who is in charge here, boy?” Shaw said.

“I am.” Loki answered. “That was the deal was it not?”

En chuckled.

“It’s what you asked for Seb, Honey.”

“I didn’t ask for your slut to forget his place.”

“Lolo, are you my slut?”

“Not at the moment, En.”

“Well, there you have it.” En said with the air of a man who has explained everything. “Let Lolo get on with it, while we get comfortable in the game room. Bring her in when you iron out the details, Baby.” 

"Yes En." Loki said.

The two older men went back into room and Loki could hear the sound of glasses clinking and En's soft voice, filling all the empty spaces. Loki continued his questioning.

“Shaw doesn’t have anything on you, to make you do this, does he?” He doubted that the man did, the girl was both too composed and from the way her chest rose and fell, too excited. 

“No, sir. I am here willingly. I agree with all Master Shaw said.” Her pink tongue brushed over her soft full lips. 

“Good, little butterfly,” Loki said and dug his black painted nails into her throat. “We are going to have so much fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Primo, I was going elsewhere with a minor plot point, but you inspired me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki plays a game. Thor has a revelation.

The back room was set up as a dungeon. Heavy hooks were installed in the ceiling, a few with pulleys, and a rack of restraints, whips, floggers and other items of interest was against the wall. A waist high padded table and an angled bench took up the center of the room. 

Loki had Tania proceed him into the room. He admired her swaying walk, the round fullness of her fat bottom, the way she pointed her toes with each step and held her head high. There was none of the beaten down look he’d seen in some subs and he was glad of it. This sweet thing knew what she wanted and wasn’t ashamed of it. He smiled wider. 

Tania stopped in front of the table. Loki reached around her and toyed with the restraints, cocked his head and then dropped them. 

“You do not need these do you butterfly?”

“No sir, I don’t.”

“I thought not. You could take the whip and never move couldn't you? Let us try something a bit different, something more than simple flogging, shall we?” 

Shaw looked like he was going to protest and En gave his knee a squeeze. 

“Let the boy work. If he disappoints, well… we can work out a fitting discipline between us.” 

En raised his chin and Loki gave him a short nod. En was counting on him to please Shaw. He had only enough leash to work and not an inch more. Loki shrugged, he wasn’t going to compromise to make either of the bastards happy. Though if he knew En, he’d be pleased with the performance. But Shaw looked to be heavy into degradation and Loki wasn’t, either giving or receiving. Fuck him, Loki thought and then hoped that wasn’t going to be his discipline, if he pissed off the piece of shit. 

He shook his head to clear it and turned to focus on the girl. His fingers worked down the front of her dress, undoing the bodice and waist and revealing a black push up bra and tightly laced corset. It was a shame really, so conventional. With her coloring she should be wearing more of that electric blue, or a deep grass green or even a rich violet. The corset was too tight and would leave creases in her soft skin and constrain her ample flesh. It should be laced only tight enough to support her and enhance her figure, not try to constrain it to some ridiculous standard. He pushed the dress off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor revealing the expected garter belt and stocking combo also in black. She was wearing no panties, again a convention that Loki could do without. Half the fun was unwrapping the present.

“You are very beautiful.”

“Thank you Master.”

“No. Address me as sir or Loki. I don’t need the ego boast and we both know who is in charge, don’t we?” 

Their shared smile was a conspiracy. Shaw with all his posturing wasn’t the one running this game and never would be. Tania was the ultimate master of how far they would go. One word from her and it stopped.

“You are, Loki.” Tania lied sweetly. 

Loki walked behind her and loosed the laces of the corset, letting it slide over her wide hips and down her plump thighs. As he had expected her skin was marked with the imprint of the seam and creases where her waist had been cinched too tight. Loki sighed, he didn’t like makes he hadn’t put there himself.

“Good, butterfly. Chrysalis is the safe word. Will you remember it?”

“Chrysalis. It’s a beautiful word. I will remember.” 

The garter belt and stockings were next and if she thought it odd that he knelt to remove them and ran his fingers in a teasing caress over the sole of her now bare feet she knew better than to comment.  
“Fitting. It is where little caterpillars get remade into beautiful butterflies. Are you ready to be remade?”

“I thought I already was a butterfly?”

Loki chuckled, he liked a show of spirit. From Seb’s sour look, he didn’t.

“Maybe I’ll unmake you back into a caterpillar.” Loki said and undid the back of the bra. It fell to join the rest of her clothes on the floor. “Shall I pluck off your wings and turn you into a crawling voiceless creature tonight?”

Tania shivered. Loki ran his hands up her sides, from hips to waist to full breasts. He cupped the weight in his palms and brushed his thumbs over her nipples feeling them harden. The top of her head fitted right under his chin and he pulled her back so she could feel the thickness of his erection on her lower back. He breathed in the fragrance of her hair, rose and lavender, surprisingly old fashioned, but they were the real thing, no cheap artificial scent. Shaw shifted in his seat, irritated at the slow pace, but En was watching him with that slight smile that signified his pleasure.

Loki let her go.

“Fetch me the ropes, butterfly, and the scissors.”

It took a few minutes to find the scissors, as Shaw had inexplicably put them in a drawer instead of hanging them beside the ropes. Loki wondered to himself if the man even had a clue what they were for. Tania returned in a moment and Loki checked the scissors by clipping one end off the suspension rope. Satisfied that they would do the job if needed, he doubled one rope and secured it to a pulley. He grasped the rope in both hands, pulled himself off the ground and swung a couple of times. Convinced the attachment was strong enough, he moved the table under the hook and positioned Tania on the padded surface. This was an art and Loki had every intention of indulging himself. He crisscrossed her body with the second length of rope, weaving intricate patterns that were as much decoration, as they were restraint. Her hands were pulled back, and fastened at the small of her back. Her breasts he wrapped with care, supporting and outlining their beauty. He traced his fingers between her legs. Her curls were close trimmed and her cunt was hot to his touch. He caressed the outer lips and rubbed a fingertip in circles around her clit, moving the hood back and forth. She made a soft little mmm of pleasure. He brushed his fingers across her hip.

“Are you doing well butterfly?”

“Yes sir. Very well.”

Loki bent forward and kissed her cheek. 

“Good girl.”

He continued the rope work and raised each of her feet until one heel was tucked under her buttock and the other leg was held to her chest. He wrapped ropes around her thighs and calves and tied them off. He let her kneel, bound from ankle to throat, untouched to get a feel for how uncomfortable she was. Her breasts were rising and falling easily and there was no strain in her breathing. Perfect. He wove the pulley rope into the network of lines and tied it off. Working carefully, watching how much pressure the rope put on her thighs and hips and shoulders, he raised her from the table top until she hung head downward. Loki tied off the pulley rope, moved the table aside and walked around her to admire his handiwork. Tania was panting softly and Loki gave her a gentle push and watched as the pressure of the ropes shifted over her body as she swung slowly back and forth.

“En, Love, would you be a dear and fetch me a bottle of water?”

En grinned at Loki's carefully worded request, rose to his feet and brought the water. He stood beside Loki and slipped an arm around his waist. 

“Very nice, Kitten. I didn’t know you knew rope work.”

“I learned it in Columbus, Ohio. A talented couple were happy to umm… show me the ropes.” 

That earned him a swat on the ass and he laughed. En returned to his seat and picked up his own drink.

“Is that all?” Shaw asked in an irritated voice.

“For now,” Loki said and walked around Tania, testing her reactions as he finished the bottle. Her hands were warm and her grip tight. He ran his fingers under the ropes checking the pressure on her skin. Her face was slightly flushed, but not to an extreme. He trailed hands over her breasts, squeezing and tugging at her nipples. She moaned and her breathing quickened. 

“How do you feel butterfly? Do you like being trapped in my web?”

“Yes.” Her voice was a soft gasp. Her eyes was misty and she trembled, bound and naked and helpless.

“You look lovely. I may take you home and hang you on the wall so I can admire you forever. Will still be as beautiful when you are reduced to withered flesh and dried tendons and polished bones, butterfly?”

“No.” Tania shuddered, whether in fear at his horrifying suggestion or in arousal he wasn’t sure. Loki ran his fingers between her thighs again.

“You may be right… I think I prefer you like this, warm and soft and responsive.”

He stroked over her swollen cunt lips and she tried to press her sex into his hand.

“So very responsive.” Loki chuckled. He dipped two fingertips past the swollen outer lips and met the slickness of her arousal. “Mmmm. You are enjoying yourself aren’t you?”

A soft gasp was her reply.

Loki slid his fingers in deeper and his thumb rubbed circles around her clit. Her breathing became panting. Loki bent down to whisper in her ear. 

“Do you like this butterfly? Trussed up and on display for two rich old men? Do you enjoy how eagerly they are watching my fingers slide in and out of your sweet little quim?”

He grasped the back of her head and turned her face toward their audience. His hand moved between her thighs to the rhythm of her hurried breathing.

“Look at them. You are nothing but another toy to them. A bit of warm flesh to sink their cocks into. One more way to show off their wealth and power. Do you like being a status symbol butterfly? Do you like knowing you mean no more to them then a fancy car or an oversized yacht?”

Tania was moaning and moving into his stroking fingers, her face was hot and her chest flushed.

“Do you?” She whispered between pants. 

“Fuck yeah.” Loki hissed in her ear “I adore it. It is nice to know I’m worth something, worth something outrageously expensive." 

He curled his fingers as he stroked, watching her reactions to find the most sensitive area. Her breasts were gleaming with sweat and he could not resist lapping his tongue over the hard points of her nipples. She moaned and arced into his touches as much as her bounds allowed. Loki was on fire with the power he had over her reactions. He could feel the older men's eyes burning with their lust and it urged him on. He spread his fingers apart to open her most intimate place to their hungry view. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and pulled his head up it till it popped free with a wet sound. Her sounds were soft wordless cries of pleasure. A glance at their audience showed flared nostrils and parted lips, both men perched on the very edge of their seats, their gaze locked on Tania's writhing, rope patterened body.

“You close butterfly?” 

“Uh huh!” Tania managed.

“Good.” Loki said and pulled his hand from her dripping cunt, abandoning her swollen clit. He raised his mouth from her breasts and released his grip on the back of her head.She hung ferr and untouched and swayed in her bounds.

Tania’s keening cry of raw need made Loki shiver in pleasure.

He took a deep breath to get control over himself and licked her juices from his hand as he looked over at his audience. Both En and Shaw were leaning forward in their seats, and wore identical expressions of thwarted arousal and shock. 

Loki smiled to himself. He hummed as he moved the table back, loosened the suspension rope and lowered Tania to the padded surface. He began untying the knots carefully.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Shaw wailed in frustration. “He is not stopping now is he?”

Loki bit his tongue to keep from laughing out loud and continued removing the ropes.

“En dearest, would you be a sweetheart and bring me a blanket and another bottle of water?”

En’s laughter was clear and deep and Loki breathed a sigh of relief. He’d been pushing it. Shaw’s angry grumbling meant that even now he hadn’t caught on to Loki’s game. But En knew and approved, and that was all that mattered to Loki. 

En brought the blanket and a towel as well. He helped to wipe the sweat from the shivering woman as Loki undid the last of the knots. En draped the blanket around her shoulders, opened the water bottle and held it to her lips when her hands were too unsteady to grasp it. Loki rubbed her legs and feet then tucked the blanked in around them. He kissed her forehead.

“How are you doing butterfly?” Loki asked.

“I’m okay. Still a little shaky. Thank you very much sir.”

“It was my pleasure Tania.” 

“Very nice show Tania, Lolo.” En said with a grin.

Shaw stormed over to the table.

“What the hell is this, En? He didn’t beat her! He didn’t even fuck the bitch! If you think this is over,..”

“Chrysalis.” said Tania.

“What?!” Shaw turned toward her.

“Chrysalis.” she repeated.

“That is the agreed upon safe word, Seb baby.” En said. “I gotta say this was an unexpected pleasure. One of the nicest mornings or is it afternoon by now?… Kitten?”

“Just past one, En.”

“Afternoon then. Hmmm. I hope we aren’t too late for lunch? Oh what am I thinking… of course it’s not too late, they wouldn’t serve lunch without the boss there, now would they?” He slide his arm around a flabbergasted Shaw’s shoulder. “Great! Let’s go get a bite… I don’t know about you, but I am famished.” He steered Shaw out of the dungeon and through the front room, drowning his protests in a constant flow of words. “Tell me are you serving those little roll up things with the cream cheese and green onion, you had last time. They are positively addicting... so bad for the breath but you know me... I just cannot resist temptation. At lady..”

The closing of the stateroom door cut off En’s chatter.

“Will you be alright?” Loki asked. He got up and crossed to the bathroom, leaving the door open as he washed and dried his hands.

“Yes.” Tania answered. “Shaw has a hot temper but he gets over it fast. By the time he returns he’ll have convinced himself everything was his idea. What about you?” She made no effort to dress and Loki surmised she’d take a bath once he was gone.

“I don’t know. En might be happy with putting one over on Shaw or he might beat the shit out of me for pulling that stunt. Or both. Or beat me because he’s happy with me. Either way it’s all good.”

They shared a smile.

“Your boss is a pretty scary man.” Tania ventured as Loki wiped down the ropes and returned them to the rack. He hung the scissors beside them.

“Yes he is.” Loki finally answered. His voice had gone coldly professional. He finished coiling the ropes and turned to her, bowing formally. A lot of the effect was lost due to his cheerleader outfit. “Thank you for an amusing scene, Tania. I do hope we can get together again.”

Tania knew when to back off. “Thank you, sir.” she said and bowed her head.

Loki turned and left. The girl was tempting, but he wasn’t about to gossip about En with her. Chances were she’d feed any information he gave her right to Shaw. He was after all her master, and she owed him at least her living, if not her loyalty. For all Loki knew she might even be in love with him.

He wandered toward the dining room with the thought of picking up something to take back to their stateroom. He was done with socializing and hoped that he’d get through the rest of the afternoon without any more demands. His wish was killed as he took his filled plate from the waiter. 

“Brother. We need to talk. I have something I must tell you. I would speak to you in private.”

“Fuck Thor. What is your problem now?” Loki snapped. “I don’t want to talk to you. I thought I made that clear. I am sick of you and your stupid ideas and your ignorance and I’m not going to Asgard for anyone. If you have something to say, say it."

It was only then that Loki registered the cell phone Thor held in his hand, the one with a picture of Asgard’s castle. Loki’s heart plunged. Thor knew, Thor knew Asgard was at war and he was going to go back and get himself killed for a bunch of idiots, or for the sake of his fucking honor. Loki wanted to scream. He’d been so close.

“Loki, brother, I’m sorry.” Thor said. “Father is dead.”

Loki looked at him blankly.

“Did you hear me brother? Father is dead.”

Thor’s words made no sense. Loki stared at him without comprehension.

It was the sound of his plate shattering on the polished tiles that snapped him out of his fugue.

“Damn you Thor I was hungry!” Loki screamed at his brother. "You made me drop my lunch! What am I supposed to do now? You tell me, what am I supposed to do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Loki, just when his day had made a turn for the better. Poor Thor to get such tragic news when he's so far from home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries to deal. Thor gets a warning. Bad stuff in the future.

Loki’s wail drew all eyes in the dining room to the two brothers. Thor took one look at Loki’s devastated expression, grabbed his wrist and hauled his little brother to the deck outside. Loki made no effort to stop him and Thor led him around the corner and into a utility corridor. It was deserted and Thor closed the door behind them. His first instinct was to protect Loki and get him away from those prying eyes.

Loki was trembling with emotion and breathing as if he’d run a marathon. His hands clenched and unclenched in agitation.

“I’m sorry Loki. I’m so sorry. I know father and you…”

“No! It’s not possible! It must be a trick. He’s left someone to take his place and he’s already out of the country.” Loki paced the short corridor gesturing wildly. “He’s emptied Asgard’s coffers and loaded up a Swiss bank account on the way.” Tears streaked his makeup.

“It’s not a trick Loki.” Thor said softly. “The staff found him this morning. Uncle Ve confirmed it. He died in his sleep last night.”

“NO!” Loki cried. “It’s a lie! He’s pulling a con. He’s not dead! He cannot be dead!”

Loki stopped pacing and blindly swung his fist at Thor. Thor caught his arm and pulled him into a rough hug.

Loki stood stiff, trembling. Thor held him and his own tears ran down his cheeks wetting his beard. He wasn’t sure if they were for his father or his brother or both. Loki collapsed against his chest with a sigh, laid his head on Thor’s broad shoulder and sobbed in rage and sorrow. 

“He hasn’t paid enough! He owes me! He hasn’t, He hasn’t said... No. No, Thor no. He hasn’t suffered enough! It’s not fair!” 

The last was the cry of a lost child and Thor squeezed Loki tight. He ran his hand up and down Loki’s back trying to soothe him.

Slowly Loki’s shaking stilled, and his wracking sobs became the softer gasps of one trying to control his feelings. Thor stroked the back of his brother’s head, smoothing out the tangled hair. Loki made no move to pull away and Thor was glad. Loki had prized his stoicism and he’d always despised any outburst or attempt at comfort. It was rare that Thor had been allowed to hug him. Loki’s breathing grew slower and still he made no move to break from Thor’s hold.

“It will be alright Loki. I won’t… I won’t abandon you, brother. I love you.”

“And I you.” Loki said. His lips brushed across Thor’s neck and Thor startled, froze.

Loki lifted his head and looked into Thor’s face. His lashes were matted with mascara and tears, his makeup smudged and his eyeliner smeared into black holes where his eyes glinted like strange jewels. He placed one hand on the back of Thor’s neck and pressed his forehead against his brother’s. Thor sighed, shut his eyes and returned the familiar embrace. 

When Loki shifted his grip and pressed his mouth against Thor’s in a passionate kiss, Thor was too stunned to react. It wasn’t until his little brother’s tongue flicked into his slack mouth that he grabbed Loki’s shoulders and shoved him away.

“What in Hell?” He looked at Loki as if he’d turned into a snake.

Loki for his part stared back at him, almost as shocked.

“I didn’t mean to! It was an accident!” Loki said as his back hit the bulkhead.

“An accident? You stuck your tongue in my mouth!” Thor yelled, letting go of his brother and backing away.

“You said you loved me!” Loki yelled back, folding his arms across his chest and hunching his shoulders.

“For fuck's sake Loki, of course I love you, you’re my brother.” He reached his hands out in entreaty.

“You never said it like that before!” Loki cringed away from Thor, his face ghost like in the shadow of the stairway. “En’s the only one who says he loves me. I thought… I… I got confused.”

“You cannot think that… that… You’re drunk. Or high. What has that pervert been giving you?”

Thor tried to grab Loki’s shoulder again, but Loki dodged under his hand, and darted to the door. He pulled it open only to run right into En. 

The older man spun Loki behind him and strode forward blocking Thor. Thor tried to shove past him, as Loki raced down the promenade deck, one arm masking his tear streaked face. The sharp prick of steel in his side brought him to a halt. 

“Thor.” En said. “I don’t know what you said to Loki to upset him. But this is the only warning I’m giving you, Honey.”

He spoke as if commenting on the weather. Thor was aware of the men watching them, their jackets open and sidearms in view. More than one had a hand on their gun. Inside the diner the woman were turning away from the confrontation. Thor’s hands closed into fists and the veins on his masssive arms stood out. The blade pressed deeper and Thor felt a warm dampness spread down his side. 

“You’re only alive because I know killing you, will hurt Loki. But you know something, Blondie. I’m beginning to think letting you live will only cause him more pain. Nobody gets to hurt my Lolo, but me.”

En stepped back and they stared into each other’s eyes. Thor’s were burning with anger, but En’s were as cold and dead as polished stone. 

“I _will_ free him from your hold.” Thor rumbled.

“ _I’m_ not the one who built his cage.” En said.

Thor ached to throw one punch and smash the older man’s face. Only the certain knowledge that he’d be dead before it landed, held him back. Dead he could do nothing for either Loki or his people. He had to think of Asgard now that his father was gone. Thor forced himself to turn away with a curse. His steps rang on the steel deck as he stalked down the corridor to his room. He needed to confer with Fandral to see if he’d managed to get any further news on their homeland. He needed a plan.

Never before had he felt the loss of Loki’s council so keenly. 

“But now,” Thor thought. “He can’t help me. He can’t even help himself.”

Thor ran a hand through his short cropped hair. There had to be something he could do, to get Loki out of that monster’s hands. He’d failed his brother before, how could he stand to fail him now? His stomach was in knots and his heart ached. How could he mourn the father he loved, knowing all his faults and cruelty?

Thor opened the cabin door wanting a drink and a respite. Fandral turned to him with an expression that made Thor felt like he was standing on the edge of an abyss.

“Its gone.” Fandral said.

“What is gone?”

“Asgard. Asgard is no more.”

******

Loki was standing in the shower letting the water run over him as if it could wash away the last few minutes of his life. It was bad enough that he had referenced his hand in Asgard’s fall. Because for what other reason would Odin have to leave the country? He could only hope Thor wouldn’t remember everything he’d said in his outburst. Thor wasn’t stupid, it wouldn’t take much for him to figure it out. As for the other. 

Loki poured shampoo on his hand and scrubbed it into his hair, his nails scratching his scalp, the stinging giving him a bit of relief. 

His thoughts kept circling. Why the hell had he kissed Thor? Was it confusion? It felt like the right thing to do at the time. Being held and comforted, the words confirming his love. Thor never held him like that, not since they were small children. En held him, En said he loved him. Loki tried to tell himself he’d just been upset enough to mix things up in his head. He pressed his forehead against the cool metal of the shower stall. 

Thor was physically attractive, he’d admitted that years ago. He was kind, and funny and generous. And Loki loved him, even when he hated him. But not like that! Fuck! What the hell was wrong with him? Thor was his brother. Did he really want to fuck him? The thought made his stomach tighten and he retched, but his belly was empty. Bile burned the back of his throat and tears started in his eyes again.

Loki grabbed the washcloth and started scrubbing at his skin. Rough and hard as if he could scour away the feelings he didn't want. He heard the bathroom door open and close. En’s blurred outline showed through the rippled glass. 

“Kitten, you want to tell me what that was all about?”

“Fuck, you were there. Don’t tell me you weren’t listening outside that door.”

“Lolo, I can listen all I want, but I don’t understand a word of Assburgian. You gotta speak English if you want me to eavesdrop.”

Loki considered this for a moment. He usually switched to his native tongue when talking alone with Thor, though both were fluent in English. That was why En had asked him about the argument with Thor this morning. He hadn’t stopped to think that En wouldn’t understand them. Which meant he could tell him anything and he wouldn’t know the difference. He scrubbed over his face again trying to remove the signs of his grief. At least En didn’t know about the embarrassing… incident. He took a slow breath to get control of his voice.

“Odin is dead. Thor brought me the news.”

“Oh.” The flat tone was followed by a silence that Loki knew meant trouble. 

“En?” Loki asked hesitantly.

“It’s Okay, Baby. I’m not angry at you.”

“Or at Thor?” Loki pressed, testing En’s temper.

“Not so much, now… he could have handled it better.”

“Our…His… his father just died En. He was upset.”

“I’ll think about letting it go…No one can say I don’t try to be fair.” 

Loki bit his lip to hold back the startled laugh. “That’s because you’d kill them if they did.” he thought. He throttled down the manic humor and rinsed off the shampoo and soap. 

“How are you doing Love?”

“I…” 

Loki stopped again. Trusting En was hard, but right now he needed him. 

“I’m not doing so well.” He turned off the water and opened the door. En handed him a towel and Loki began drying his hair.

“What do you need Loki?”

Loki wiped the towel over his face and looked up at En.

“I need to be hurt En. I need to be hurt bad. But not with words. Please? Could you do that for me? No words for once?”

En took the towel from his hands and rubbed it across his back, and then around to his chest and abdomen. He pulled Loki close, his bare back snugged against En’s clothed chest. He wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist and he kissed the nape of Loki’s neck.

“I can do that for you, Kitten.” 

Loki sighed at his words. 

“Let me take care of you.”

"Uh huh."

En led him to the bed and Loki finished drying off and dropped the towel on the floor. He sat on the clean pressed sheets, while En opened the toy bag. En laid the flogger out and glanced at Loki. Loki gave him a negative shake of his head. En fished around in the bag and then held up a riding crop.

“I need more than that. I need to hurt, En.”

“You want the belt, Baby?”

“I…” Loki licked his lips. He looked past En and out the window that gave onto their tiny balcony. He couldn’t meet his lover’s eyes.  
“Would you burn me?” His voice shook. “I need the fire to burn out this… this… it hurts too much… I can’t…” Tears ran down his face again and Loki shook them away. “I hate him. I hate him so much! Why does it hurt that he’s dead? It shouldn’t hurt.”

“Oh, Loki. It's Okay.” En said and sat beside Loki on their bed. He pulled him down until Loki’s head was in his lap. “It will be Okay. Everything will be Okay.” He stroked his fingers through Loki’s damp hair and over his shoulder, down his side. He drew the coverlet over Loki’s shivering body.

“Shhh, Kitten. I’m in charge now. You can let go.”

Loki took a slow breath trying to calm himself. He felt hollow, transparent, as if his bones were pushing through his flesh. A headache threatened in the bright pulses of light that danced before his closed eyes. His throat was sore from yelling and his heart was a heavy stone that pressed on his ribs and lungs. En bent over him, getting something from the bedside table. There was the ratcheting click of a lighter and the smell of tobacco. The coverlet was rearranged, and Loki felt the cool air on his skin as his bottom was bared. En’s warm hand stroked his left buttock. 

“I think right here, hmmm? Where only I can see it… Kinda like a present from me to me… That sound good to you Lolo?”

Loki nodded. The emotion coiled in his belly started to unwind.

“That was a question Loki. Use your words, Honey.”

“Yes En.” Loki said without opening his eyes. “There would good. I need to feel the fire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I need to detail this next scene? Naw. I'll leave it up to your perverted imaginations. They are so much better then mine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bargains and paybacks. En's pov

Loki ended up with eight matching burns, four across each butt cheek. En opened the window after the first, not liking the stink of burning skin. Truthfully the entire scene was not something he enjoyed. But Loki was hurting so bad, En knew he’d break the rules and hurt himself if En didn’t do it for him. He was way too fragile to take apart with words and yet he needed taking apart. En could concede a point or two in their game. So he lit cigarette after cigarette and decorated Loki’s bruised ass with angry red circles. He stopped at eight only because it was obvious that Loki had no intention of calling an end to it, despite having to muffle his cries of pain in a pillow, so he wouldn’t disturb the other passengers. He had in fact begged En to continue, but En was in charge and his Kitten would have to accept that, that was as far as he was going. He’d cleaned the wounds carefully and from Loki’s twitching and yelps, that process was possibly more painful than the initial burning was. En hadn’t packed anything to properly treat burns but there was a first aid kit in the room. En used the alcohol wipes, ointment and bandages provided.

Though wasn’t Loki pliant and soft afterward. His eyes half closed as if he was drunk, and his movements languid and slow. En loved him like this, knew it wouldn’t last any longer than the time it took to bring them both off. It hadn’t lasted even that long. Toward the end Loki bit him hard enough on his forearm to draw blood. But that was good too. The fire in Loki’s blood never went out it only banked down to embers from time to time. Loki carried a fresh bruise on both cheeks for the bite and he’d laughed when En dealt them, and that defiance sent him over the edge. All in all a satisfying, if tiring late afternoon. He offered Loki a pain pill and he’d taken it and went off to sleep. En rested beside him, trailing a finger over those cheekbones and the thin lipped mouth that could look so puritanical, but was in fact the source of sweet wicked pleasures.

If he’d tried to design a companion he really couldn’t have done better himself. En smiled as he got out of bed and dressed. He had done some refining, of course. Loki respected his rules and knew how far he could go over the line. He occasionally transgressed, but only minor stuff when he knew En was in the mood to indulge him in dishing out punishments. Today’s little escapade with the sub was an example of his rule pushing. He hadn’t technically done anything except what he’d been asked to do. But he was a daring little shit to manipulate both En and Sebastian into dancing to his tune. 

En felt a wave of pride. Loki was not a sub to anyone but him. It was kinda flattering to know he came willingly to his hand. Like having a pet tiger that acted like a house cat for him and ate anyone else. He had the killing instinct, for all his reluctance to use violence on another. En saw his inner predator today and it was beautiful. And so tightly leashed. Once Loki was whole again he’d be a worthy adversary. Or an heir to En’s kingdom. That was even more appealing. He bent down and gave his sleeping lover a kiss on his bruised cheek. He’d sleep for a couple of hours at most. He’d need his energy. En left to go sort things out with Sebastian.

Seb was being a bastard as usual. The man was boring, petty and pedestrian in his evil and filled with a sense of his own importance. If En hadn’t needed him to pull a few strings he wouldn’t spent an hour in his company the past two had been excruciating. Normally he threatened people like Sebastian, but Seb had some very powerful friends and En didn’t want to ruffle their feathers. Nor for all his ambition, did he want to move up to their level. He preferred being the big fish in his relatively small pond. Right now there was an understanding of mutual noninterference. Occasional favors passed both ways but without formal obligations. Sebastian was, unfortunately the go between for the favor En was calling in. 

Not that he didn’t trust Loki’s little project. They’d gone over the details several times and it was a beautiful piece of work. But a little insurance wouldn’t hurt. One overly enthusiastic fire marshal or policy investigator and even a tiny doubt could have the claim tied up in court for years. Years that would cost En money and throw the entire enterprise into financial unfeasibility. Seb’s friends could see that wouldn’t happen. They would understand that it made more sense for En to continue on with his plans and be in a position to return favors. He didn’t mind doing a bit of subcontracting now and again and having his own mega casino would be a nice set up for such things. He just had to coerce Seb into going along with the idea. 

Loki’s trick had pissed Seb off. While En had enjoyed the whole thing, it had not helped his position. He should have given Loki more of a heads up, but he’d really wanted to watch the boy work on his own. Loki was full of lovely surprises. Ah well, water under the bridge, he thought as Sebastian rambled on about his latest acquisition. It was a 17th century painting of a British warship that En thought was terribly sentimental, but Sebastian seemed to be talking himself into a better mood.

“It fits well with your whole uh…” En searched for the right word… pirate? No too childish, Naval? Too specific… nautical that sounded sophisticated enough, “nautical theme. Very…hmmm… classy.”

Sebastian beamed at him. “It’s a Cleveley, from a private collection and it’s never been exhibited. I got word the seller needed cash and had to unload a number of his pictures quickly. I talked him down. Bought it for pennies on the dollar.”

That threw up a bunch of red flags, most likely the painting was stolen or a fake, but En wasn’t going to question Seb’s purchase. It wasn’t his money after all.

“That’s uh, clever, very smart of you to snap it up. Never know when something like that is gonna hit the market again.” En took a sip of his drink. “Speaking of clever, I believe we were discussing how to make sure some people, some key people aren’t too clever for their own good.”

“Hmmph” Sebastian snorted, reaching for the whiskey bottle and filling his own glass. “I don’t know about that. Seems you have a liking for too clever people.”

En suppressed a shudder at the cheap stuff Seb was drinking. It tasted like burnt cardboard and he made damn sure to bring his own scotch onboard after his first trip. 

“I’ve disciplined the boy. He’ll be on his best behavior from now on.”

“No more disruptions? I really don’t want to have to deal with a body En. That was not part of our agreement.”

“Keeping those boys off the internet and out of contact was. Odinson found out his father is dead… how did that happen I wonder? You claimed to be an expert in these things.”

“There was a minor difficulty with the jammer. It’s not like throwing a switch and everything gets blocked. There’s a lot of bandwidth to cover. It’s fixed now. Communications are down.” 

“Hmmm,” En made his doubt clear without having to voice it. He was fairly sure the difficulty occurred because of Loki’s scene. The timing was too coincidental. “Can we get back to business Honey? I don’t want to make your other guests have to wait for dinner.”

“Your slut owes me an apology. I don’t put up with that crap from an underling.”

“He’s hardly an underling, Seb. He’s a prince.” En took another sip of his drink. “What did you have in mind?”

“Pay him back in kind. Show him what a real Dom can do.”

En sighed. Seb was so predictable. His idea of a Dominant was all about the physical with some verbal humiliation thrown in. He considered it for a few minutes. He really didn’t like the idea of his boy with someone else. Loki would fight every inch of the way and that would only piss Sebastian off more. He liked his subs broken. En wondered where he’d found Tania and how long she’d been in his employ.

“An apology, now that’s something, something well… He was rude wasn’t he? The other… He’s not your type Seb. Not your type of sub and not your type at all. You don’t go for guys…unless your tastes have changed?” 

“They haven’t. But he’s halfway to a girl anyway. You want a deal? Your little prince gets on his knees for me.” Sebastian chuckled cruelly. “That or the deal is off.”

En considered for a moment. Loki did deserve punishment, and seeing the marks he’d put on him would mollify Seb. He really needed this to go through. Without an agreement that potential nosy investigator could become a sure thing, if the big guys wanted to pull this venture out from under him. 

“You don’t get to Dom him. That’s mine…” He tapped his fingers on the table. “I may consider the other… You’ll have to wear a condom.”

“I don’t want his ass. I’m not a faggot.” Sebastian sneered and En made a note that the second he fell out of favor, his bosses wouldn’t have to bother placing a hit. He’d do the job gratis. 

“You want him to give you a blow job?”

“That will do for starters.”

“That will do for everything Seb. He didn’t violate the terms of the agreement. It’s not his fault you weren’t specific. You on the other hand, Sugar... with your ummm... _little_ technical problem…” 

En dropped the innuendo with the subtlety of a dead rat on the dinner table.

En smiled at Sebastian’s sour expression. 

“Keeping your word its... its as important as respect in our circles, isn’t it? You know how I feel about respect, Baby.” 

Sebastian didn’t appreciate the second deceased rodent anymore then the first. Especially as this one had a tiny death threat pinned to its furry chest.

******

Loki was sitting forward in one of the arm chairs, clad in silk boxers and undershirt with a book in one hand. There was a cup on the coffee table with a teabag tag hanging on the side. The contents were black as ink. He was so engrossed he didn’t look up until the door shut with as audible snap.

“Whatcha reading kitten?” 

Loki held it up. “The Sea Wolf. I found it stuck down behind the chair cushion.”

“Wouldn’t think it was your kinda story.”

Loki shrugged and put it down, but not before dog-earing the page. “It is interesting. I like Larsen.”

“Ah…” En said, having never read it, and judging the book solely by its cover. “You up to going to dinner?”

“Yes. It is formal is it not?” Loki gestured to where their suits were hanging, having been pressed by their steward. En nodded and was already undoing the buttons on his casual shirt. He watched Loki get out of the chair with none of his usual grace and walk carefully over to the closet. Poor boy must be hurting something awful. 

“I have some oxy if you want it baby.”

“Thank you En, but I need the pain. It grounds me.” He stretched and flexed his shoulders.

En felt a tightening in his groin and an ache in his heart. He was a beautiful thing, the muscle laid on his lean frame this summer enhanced that beauty. But it was when Loki talked like that, let himself be so vulnerable and open which thrilled En. There were layers and layers to Loki and they shifted and changed with each new situation. He was a present En got to unwrap every day.

They dressed for dinner, En admiring how Loki switched from slutty boy toy to sophisticated prince. It wasn’t just the change of clothes, it was how he carried himself, the set of his shoulders, the angle of his head and the quiet assumption of authority. En wondered how he was going to take the bad news. He decided to bring it up now, he didn’t want a scene over dinner.

“Honey, you know that little game, that scene with Tania before lunch?”

“I didn’t forget it.”

“You really pissed Seb off.”

Loki smiled briefly. “Yes I did, didn’t I?”

“Well you see, you see this is the thing, Baby. I’m here to do business and he’s the guy I have to do it with.”

Loki paused and gave En a calculating look then straightened his tie. 

“So?”

“So he wants payback, Lolo. If I didn’t need him to cooperate...”

Loki’s forehead furrowed.

“Out with it En, I’m hungry. I missed lunch.” 

His attitude made En decide to be brutal. “He wants you to suck his cock. And you are gonna do it. I don’t need this deal to fall through because you decided to be a brat.”

Loki raised his eyebrows and gave a little shake of his head.

“Is that all? I thought you were going to try to get me to sub to the bastard. When?”

Loki’s easy acceptance made En feel even more irritated. 

“After dinner. It doesn’t bother you?”

Loki buttoned his jacket and cocked his head. 

“Why should it? The last time I sucked a rich guy’s cock I got a nice penthouse, fancy clothes and a great job.” 

En narrowed his eyes, cold anger coiled ready to strike. “Is that all you got out of it?”

Loki paced across the room, put one hand on En’s chest and pushed hard enough to force the older man to step back against the closet door. That extra muscle wasn’t just for looks. He leaned in until they were pressed chest to chest. En was looking the tiger eye to eye and it intrigued him. Loki’s voice dropped into the aggressive purr he’d used this morning.

“No, old man. I got you.” He nipped at En’s lower lip, and crowded him harder. “You’re mine.”

En’s heart beat faster, this went beyond rebellion into striving for dominance. He grabbed Loki’s hair and wrenched his head back. 

“You’ll do as you’re told, Kitten.”

Loki chuckled. 

“Of course En.”

His tongue flicked over his thin lips and his eyes were half closed. En let him go and Loki waited a second more then moved back and smoothed the front of En’s jacket.

“We don’t want to be late for dinner after all.” 

******

Loki was all elegance and princely manners over dinner, making polite conversation with their table mates and complimenting the ladies with the right touch of deference. When Sebastian strutted over to their table, Loki stood, took his hand and thanked him for the invitation to stay on his lovely boat. En was sure there was a barb somewhere in there, but if so it was well hidden. No one looking at him now would think he was the same man who only hours ago was flaunting his ass in a pair of red silk panties and having a shouting match with his brother. 

The after dinner business was conducted with the same studied nonchalance.

Once in Sebastian's rooms Loki had handed En his jacket and knelt before their host, his approach relaxed and easy. His casual manner angered Seb and he was as course and brutal as En had suspected he’d be, calling Loki whore and slut and fucking into his mouth. En considered it stupid, Loki’s technique was a thing to be savored, though on reflection he was glad it wasn’t wasted on Seb. He finished off by coming on the boy’s face and seemed satisfied by Loki’s quiet acceptance. When Loki left the room to wash up En said.

“No delays. I want guarantees by Wednesday.”

“I’ll put in the request.”

“You’ll get it done.”

Sebastian looked put out, but En knew he wasn’t going to pull anything. Seb gave a sigh and then nodded. When Loki returned from the bathroom En helped him on with his jacket.

“One more thing. He’s off limits from now on.”

En didn’t wait for a reply. He put his arm around Loki’s waist and escorted him from the cabin. 

“Lolo… you Okay?”

Loki shook his head. “It was no big thing En. Just don’t make a habit of it.” He spit on the deck. “He smelled like piss.” 

They walked in silence and Loki steered them toward the deserted fishing deck. They sat in the chairs and looked out on the black water. En lit a couple of cigarettes. Loki took his and blew rings that drifted up into the night sky. En let his smolder after the first puff. His memory tainted the tobacco with the smell of burnt flesh. 

“How’s your butt doing Lolo?”

“Hurts like fuck. I will take you up on the oxy tonight. Thanks for keeping them high enough I’m not sitting on them.”

“You're welcome. What about…Odin? You want to talk about that? Or why you and Thor were yelling at each other?”

“Odin’s dead. He’s dead and with any luck freezing his ass off in Niflhel." Loki took another puff. "No, I don’t believe that. He’s just a lump of meat already starting to rot. There’s no such thing as a final justice. He got away with his shit, like always. Thor…” 

Loki shot a look over at En.

“He was mad because I kissed him.”

“Why would that make him mad?” En asked. “He wasn’t ready to make up after your little tiff this morning?”

“I kissed him like I kiss you, En.”

“Real-ly?” Now that was interesting… it opened a world of possibilities.

“No not real-ly. It was a stupid accident. I was upset at the time. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“You sure, Lolo? No buried little taboo yearnings… He’s pretty ripped you know…”

“I’m aware of that. Yes I’m sure and No, no yearnings.”

“That’s too bad because you two are really something…”

“You are a sick fuck, En you know that?” Loki voice was dispassionate. “You think he is hot, you fuck him. Just leave me out of it.”

“Now Lolo, I don’t want you to get jealous. Just because Blondie is a handsome guy…”

Loki turned to look at him.

“You were the one who wanted an exclusive relationship. You want Thor I won’t mind, though I got to warn you he’s straight. So unless you’re planning on a sex change, you won’t have a chance.”

En sighed. Needling Loki was normally a fun pastime but he wasn’t reacting tonight. All played out, no doubt. Loki returned to looking at the stars. He blew another smoke ring.

“Seb is a heavy drinker, correct?”

“Yeah Lolo. Why?”

“Would you say it is unlikely that he has any sense of taste left?”

“From the crap he drinks? Honey, I doubt the man has tasted anything in years. What did you do, Baby?”

“I pissed in his mouthwash.”

En’s laughter rang out over the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is still a little shit. Sebastian Shaw is referred to as Seb or Sebastian from En's POV and as Shaw from Loki's. Loki will call him Seb because he knows it pisses him off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little information about the past. Loki tries to deal with conflicting emotions. An admission.

Loki awoke with the knowledge that he would be out here for two more days with Thor. How the hell was he supposed to deal with his brother? And En would want him to, he’d expect Loki to keep Thor out of trouble. Hadn’t he done a wonderful job so far? Loki rubbed his eyes. What about Shaw’s promise to keep them out of touch? The bastard had reneged on that agreement, but it was Loki who had to pay the price. Then was made to pay for doing what he’s been asked to do. 

Loki grinned. He’d so very much enjoyed taking control of En and Shaw like that. And pushing En up against the wall last night. Loki swiped his tongue over his lips. Showing En that he was capable of being in charge. He’d seen a spark in his lover’s eyes that told him he wasn’t completely against letting Loki call the shots. That alone, had been worth sucking Shaw off. Loki made a low, purring sound.

En rolled onto his back and smiled.

“You sound happy, Lolo.” 

Loki draped himself over En’s chest and nipped at his throat. The skin was rough with stubble under his lips. En reached up on hand and stroked Loki’s hair.

“I am old man. Very. And now you are going to make me even happier.”

Loki pulled En’s hand down and kissed the palm, licked his tongue up the middle finger and took it into his mouth, eliciting a soft hum from the older man. He sucked the digit, watching En’s eye lids droop and his lips part. Loki grinned, shifted until he was straddling En’s thighs, caught both of his wrists and pinned them to the bed. En looked up in surprise.

“What cha doing there Cowboy?”

“Whatever I want.”

“Is that so?” En chuckled.

Loki hooked his ankles over En’s knees to hold him down, leaned forward and kissed each of the dark nipples, nuzzling the grizzled hair of his chest. He rolled his hips and his hardening cock dragged against En’s morning erection.

“Maybe, I’ll fuck you for a change.” 

“Honey, I don’t do that.” His voice held a warning.

Loki bared his teeth in a wolfish grin, tightened his grip on En’s wrists, and rolled his hips again.

“Who says you get a choice?”

Loki wasn’t quite sure what happened. En suddenly twisted sideways, jerked his arms across his body, gave a sharp heave of his hips and their positions were reversed.

Loki looked up at En and laughed.

“Damn you’re good.”

“You better believe it baby. You try something like that again and I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Here’s one. Get up, get dressed and behave yourself today or you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Fine.”

There was a trace of waspishness Loki couldn’t keep out of his voice. When En released him, he got out of bed and waltzed to the bathroom. A cool shower calmed his mind, chilled his blood and eased the sting of the healing burns. By the time he’d dried off and shaved, En was partially dressed. Loki pulled on black jeans and tennis shoes and a black long sleeved shirt. His hair he slicked back, and tied at the nape of his neck. He decided against any cosmetics. Better to be as soothing towards Thor as possible today.

“You look like you’re in mourning, Honey. Are you sure..?” En called from the bathroom as he finished shaving.

“I’m fine En.” Loki said, feeling his annoyance rising again. “You want me to keep Thor under control now that you friend Seb fucked up, I need to dress the part. His father did die yesterday. Unless you’d prefer another scene? Or having to fish him out of the water if he tries to swim back? I’d hate for you to lose all that money you invested in promoting the fight, if he drowns.”

“There’s my Kitten, such sharp little claws.” En patted his shoulder and grinned.

Loki glared at En’s words. “Could you be more patronizing? I’m not sure I feel completely belittled.”

“You’re in a mood, Lolo. You mad about last night?”

“I should be. You could have asked.”

“Would have agreed?”

“Yes, if you’d told me how important it was to you.” 

“If you would have done it anyway Honey I... I don’t see a problem.” 

“I would preferred to have the option of turning you down.”

En slide an arm around Loki’s waist as they left the cabin.

“Lolo, we both know you’ll never turn me down, so why pretend?”

Breakfast, like lunch was buffet. Fandral and Thor were in line and Loki fell in behind his brother. Thor turned, gave him a searching look and then nodded. Loki nodded back. He followed them to a table and En joined them, so that Loki was seated with Thor on his left hand and En on his right. There was no conversation as they ate. Loki finished the slice of toast and egg he’d taken and cradled his coffee in both hands sipping it and staring out of the windows across the wind whitened waves. He set down his mug when Thor shifted a couple of pancakes and bacon onto his plate, picked up his fork and started eating again. He could hear En’s soft tsk, and waited for the inevitable string of words, hoping he wouldn’t get Thor riled up out of boredom.

“Hey Blondie,” En drawled.

Loki could feel Thor stiffen beside him and he shoveled down another mouthful, hoping he could finish his meal before there was a fight.

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” Thor growled. 

“Put your food on his plate?” Loki frowned and turned to look at En. What the hell was this all about?

Thor just shrugged. “He never gets enough. I get too much. It evens out.”

Loki returned to eating. En was making idol conversation to fill the silence. The man couldn’t stand to be quiet for very long. 

“But why doesn’t he get enough?” En persisted.

Loki answered for Thor. “I’m smaller, I don’t need as much food. Thor’s bigger, he needs to eat more. What does it matter?”

“You’re not that much smaller, Honey. It’s like a, a habit.”

Loki was getting more and more irritated at En’s prying. “Who the fuck cares, En?”

Loki picked up his coffee again and drank while Thor put a slice of melon on his plate. “It’s just the way things were.” Thor said. “We shared.”

“You shared.” Loki corrected. “I was not given enough to share.”

“It doesn’t matter Loki.” Thor said.

Loki stared to reply, shook his head and returned to looking out of the window.

It was Fandral who spoke. “I think it does matter, Thor. Odin did it on purpose. Doling out the food that way...”

“Can we fucking drop this?” Loki snapped, slamming his mug down on the table so hard it cracked and the last drops splattered on the white table cloth. “I don’t see why my eating habits need to be under discussion.”

“Lolo, I was asking a simple question, there’s no need to get upset.” En said.

Loki glared at him. All his earlier annoyance came back and added to his sense of violation.

“No, you weren’t! You never ask simple questions. You wanted to get at something you don’t need to know. Something you can torment me with ‘for my own good’.” Loki’s voice was almost a whisper. He rose to his feet. “And in case you’ve forgotten, En Dwi Gast, my name is Loki, not Lolo, or Honey, or Baby, or Kitten or even Cowboy. I know it’s hard to keep track of your whores’ names, but you should at least try to make an effort.”

Loki looked at Thor and Fandral. “If either of you wish to speak to me, I’ll be at the back of the boat, learning how to fish.” He glanced back at En. “Unless Mr. Gast has someone else’s dick he needs me to suck.” 

He walked out of the dining hall, completely ignoring En’s sharp voice against the rising thunder of Thor’s anger. He was flushed and embarrassed and angry that he’d allowed En’s nosiness to get under his skin. At least he’d had enough self-control to keep his voice down, and not shout his personal business across the dining room this time.

Loki didn’t stop by the room for an early morning drink, as much as he wanted one. Instead he went straight to the back of the boat where the guide was loading the bait tanks. He waved the man off and leaned on the railing. The water was white capped, the waves sparkling and dancing in the sun. Loki tried to clear his mind, but his thoughts wouldn’t settle. He rubbed his arms, he felt like something was crawling under his skin. He’d overreacted to En’s probing, to Thor’s simple statements, to Fandral’s championing the “cause of Loki.” He wanted to hit something, or better yet someone. 

Quiet steps came up behind him and tobacco smoke drifted on the breeze. He glanced over his shoulder with a scowl expecting En, but a middle aged woman met his glare with a raised eyebrow and leaned on the railing, her back to the water.

“Rough morning?” she inquired.

Loki nodded, not up to talking.

Loki had seen her yesterday and wondered who she was and what she was doing here. At first he thought she was wife to one of the men, but who would bring his wife on a party boat with paid female entertainment? Besides she didn’t dress like a wife, but like a power in her own right. Black sheath dress and jacket, dark hose and low heeled shoes, a minimum of makeup, pearl jewelry and she wore her grey-brown hair pulled back in a severe bun. The morning sun picked out the lines on her face. They were good lines, crow’s feet and smile creases. They deepened as she watched Loki looking her over. Her teeth flashed even and white, despite a cigarette habit.

“Like what you see?” She asked and her smile lightened the question.

Loki tilted his head. “And if I do?” 

“Oh you’re one of those are you?” she took a drag off her cigarette, amusement making her green eyes sparkle.

“One of what?” Loki turned so he was facing her. The banter was taking his mind off whatever was bothering him.

“One of those men who thinks no one can resist them.”

Loki chuckled. “I see you’ve met my kind before. I must cede you the battle, good Lady, and limp from the field with my pride sorely wounded.”

He made no move to leave though and glanced pointedly at her cigarette. 

“I’ve something better in my room, if you partake.” she said.

“How can I turn down such an polite offer?” Loki said .

She stepped away from the rail and walked back toward the prow, though on the opposite side of the boat from Loki’s room. Loki followed, admiring the way her hips swayed.

“Aren’t you En’s boyfriend?” she asked as she stopped, took out a key and unlocked the door. Loki pushed the door open and then followed her inside.

“Yes, I am. Is that a problem?” Loki said as he shut the door behind them and latched the bolt. 

He didn’t want any unexpected interruptions, no matter where this was going. He shrugged his shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck trying to sooth the tension that made him want to snap at her. 

“It’s not for me. I just heard he doesn’t like to share.”

“He’s already rescinded that rule.”

The room was small, with a bed on one wall and an armchair and TV taking up the other half. She opened the nightstand, removed a hand rolled cigarette and lit it with her sleek black lighter. The smell of marijuana filled the small room. She offered the joint to Loki and he took it, breathing in the harsh smoke, holding it to increase its effects and then letting it out in a rush. The warm relaxing feeling spread from his chest up his throat and into his mind.

“Good.” she said. “Wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”

She took the joint back and drew another hit. She put her hand on the back of Loki’s neck and pulled his mouth down to hers. Smoke billowed into his lungs as she exhaled into the kiss. This was good, Loki thought, just what he needed.

“I’m always in trouble, it’s my nature.” He reached up and started to pull the pins from her hair. She caught his hand.

“No. I don’t have time to redo my hair.”

She pushed away from him, handed him the joint and walked across the room.

Loki took another hit and watched her, not sure what she was playing at. She opened the closet and hung up her jacket. She turned her back to him and glanced over her shoulder. Loki walked over and undid her dress, helping her out of it and hanging it up beside the jacket. She was in fairly good shape, there was a softness to her belly and a droop to her small breasts when her bra was removed, that showed her age, but Loki didn’t mind. He rather liked older women, especially when they were of the kind that knew what they wanted and didn’t hesitate about getting it. He skinned out of his clothing and let her lead him to the bed, passing the joint back and forth until it was finished. She pushed at his chest and he obliged and fell onto his back. Her hand stroked up his thigh and her fingers traced over the snake. 

“European adder, very nice.”

“You like snakes?”

“I keep several at my home. Drop by some time and I’ll introduce you.”

She palmed his balls and stroked her thumb along the underside of his hardening cock. Loki smiled and half closed his eyes. His tension was melting away under the influence of the pot. He rocked his hips and made a low purr as she wrapped her fingers around his shaft and gave it a gentle squeeze. Loki reached out to cup her breasts but she pushed his hands away. 

“Hands down.” 

“I feel like I’m not earning my keep.” He said. 

She stroked him into hardness, “Don’t worry, you will.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“I like a man with manners.” 

Loki hummed and rolled his hips into her stroking. A little lube would have improved things, but it was still pleasant. She released him and he opened his eyes. 

“Slide down.” she said.

Loki wiggled his butt down till his heels were hanging off the end of the bed. He licked his tongue over his lips.

“I hope this is going where I think it is.”

She swung one leg across him and straddled his chest, her thighs pinning his arms to his sides. Her fingers threaded in his hair. She raised up on her knees.

“Is this what you want?”

“Oh fuck yes!” Loki breathed. He cupped her butt and squirmed lower on the bed.

“Eager aren’t you?” She lowered herself onto his open mouth and gasped as his tongue slid between her legs, opening her cunt.

Loki shut his eyes and sighed. Her thighs were silky smooth on his cheeks as she rocked against him. He wanted this, wanted the way she tightened her fingers in his hair and the sharp tug the twinged across his scalp. Wanted the simple animal anonymity of this uncomplicated coupling. No games, no pressure only the touch of skin on skin, movement and sound and slow building need. 

Loki sucked at the heat of her, savoring the warm, sweet taste and the soft slickness of her labia. She pulled his hair again and in response he licked into her cunt with long slow laps. She was so hot on his tongue. He gave a low rumbling growl of hunger. He wanted more, wanted all of her. He lifted his chin and teased her clit, felt it harden, a tender nub that he kissed and sucked. She moaned and ground against his lips. He squeezed her butt cheeks, his long fingers digging into the plump flesh, pulling her tighter as though he would devour her. Her scent was musky and feminine, the wetness of her cunt drenched his chin and her curls tickled his nose. He was reduced to the physical and it was glorious, as touch and taste and scent and hearing were overwhelmed. Her panting was fast and her rocking rhythm sped up, both hands on his head. His cock throbbed, he was aching hard and he rutted into the empty air. Lost in sensation. 

Abruptly she pulled away from him. Loki couldn’t hold back a sharp, anguished, 

“No!” 

She grinned down at him, her breathing harsh, her face flushed and her nipples hard, dark points. His face was wet with her juices.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Yes! Please.” 

Loki tried to urge her back down, but she shook her head and crawled down his body. He took the opportunity to fondle her breasts and she held still while he sucked each nipple into his mouth. She petted his hair and rubbed herself on the hard muscles of his abdomen. She pulled away from him again, sat up and reached into the nightstand. For moment Loki was confused, thinking she was going to light up another joint. Angry that she would stop when he was so aroused. But it was a condom she took from the drawer and handed to him. He made short work of putting it on and she lowered herself onto him. 

She was warm and pleasantly tight and thank the gods, the condom was a thin one. He rolled his hips up and she ground down on him and clenched and his head flew back, slamming into the mattress. He’d forgotten how damn good it felt to be inside another's body. His hands found her waist and when she leaned forward he bent up to suckle on her swaying breasts. She cradled the back of his head and rode him, taking him deep then rocking forward until only the head of his cock was inside her cunt.

Loki shut his eyes and gave in the heat, the tight sliding clasp on his cock, the sweat salt taste of her nipple in his mouth and the exotic floral and spice scent of her perfume. She moaned and gasped and he thrust harder. Pain pulsed across his butt, dull at first and then sharper with every thrust as his ass rubbed against the bedspread. Eight hot points of fire the tugged his attention away from the pleasure. Loki tried to ignore the hurt and pulled his focus back to the weight of her body, the softness of her skin, and the low cries she made.

The hot friction on his cock competed with the burn on his rump. He flashed on En’s hand on his back and the ache in his heart and the fire biting into his skin. He gasped and thrust into her faster, chasing his own pleasure, desperate to not lose this moment to the past. Her nails dug into his neck, his shoulder and she shuddered. Her cunt squeezed his cock, hard over and over again. He keened in aching hunger, grinding into her, memories clambering up from his subconscious. She let his head fall back to the bed and straightened her back, riding him while sweat ran down the crease between her breasts.

He was shaking, caught between pleasure and pain, the present and the past. The burns where hot coals searing his ass, his cock was pulsing, the building pressure made his blood pound through his veins. The reason for the burning crashed over him, the ache of his heart, sorrow and rage and the terrible emptiness of the loss of an unfulfilled dream. The loss of father he never had nor would ever have. 

His body spasmed and he came, choking on desolation, fighting down tears. The release was only physical, not enough to dull the hurt, the drug burned off in exertion.

Her hands were on his chest and he blinked up at her, her smile was incongruent with his roiled feelings. They were both panting, but their breathing was mismatched, hers slower, calmer and his fast, frantic. Loki was overheated, the room too warm, too small, the smell of marijuana almost nauseating. He forced a smile, but the slight tension around her eyes told him she knew something was wrong. She moved off him. His softening cock slipped free and lay across his thigh.

He reached out and touched her side but she got p and walked away from the bed and into the bathroom.

Loki’s “Thank you.” was too late, and sounded false in his own ears. He felt empty rather than sated. 

The shower turned on behind the closed door. He waited to see if she would invite him in, but the door remained resolutely shut. He sat up, pulled off the condom and cleaned up as best he could, using the small bar sink. Loneliness tightened around his throat. He dressed and waited a moment longer, as the shower had stopped. When the bathroom stayed shut, Loki took the hint and stepped out onto the walkway, closing the door behind him. 

He glanced toward the back of the boat and saw En’s slim profile, where he leaned on the rail, outlined by sunlight. He hesitated, but En beckoned and Loki hurried to him. En’s face was stern and cold, but Loki didn’t slow his steps until they were chest to chest.

“Loki, did you think…” 

Whatever scolding En intended to give, he stopped when Loki wrapped his arms around him, and buried his face against En’s neck and whispered,

“I love you. I love you En. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki really ought to stick with men. He gets himself into trouble every time, with the ladies. Sex probably shouldn't be his go to method of handling distress.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers talk things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prince thor made a beautiful mood board that fits this story quite well. http://prince-thor.tumblr.com/image/184345826676

Loki sat on the bed in Thor’s room and watched his brother from under damp lowered lashes. Thor paced the small space, his hands clenching and unclenching. The violence in his tensed body made Loki want to both cringe away and go on the attack. He hated this, feeling like he was under siege, feeling that Thor was the battering ram poised at his gates, one blow and his illusions would shatter. 

When Loki had clung to him, En hadn’t returned the embrace, hadn’t said anything in reply to his desperate whispered words. He’d waited until Loki pulled back, placed a firm hand on his shoulder and steered him to Thor and Fandral’s cabin. When Fandral open the door En said tersely,

“You and your brother need to talk.” and shoved Loki inside. He’d added “Alone.” and waited at the door until Fandral, at Thor’s nod stepped outside. 

Loki heard their steps fade down the corridor and dropped onto Thor’s bed. Thor frowned at him and began walking back and forth, five steps to either wall. 

“Did you know that the war had started?”

“Why should I concern myself about a country which despises me?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Do you truly think I spend my days searching the internet for some fragment of news about a shit hole county no one gives a fuck about?”

“It is our homeland, we grew up there, hunted in the hills and swam in its streams. How can you abandon our friends, our countrymen so easily?”

“What friends Thor? Who in Asgard was ever my friend? I was a tool at best and a threat at worst. How many mourned when I left? Tell me truth brother, was there any of your friends who wished me returned?” 

Thor took a deep breath. True, not even Fandral had expressed a longing for Loki’s bitter company. 

“I wished you back.”

“Is that why you waited a year this time before you came looking for me? Because you missed my company? Was it not the use you could make of me that sent you searching? I’ll do you no good now that Asgard is nothing but a footnote.”

“Then you did know of the war?”

Loki bared his teeth in a hate filled grin.

“Oh yes brother I knew. I rejoiced at every riot, at every battle lost, at every defection as your compatriots showed their true colors and fled like rats from a burning tenement. Why should I not be overjoyed to see my prison pulled down and the jailers hanged from the street lamps?”

“You cannot mean that! Asgard is our home!”

“Asgard was your home. Never mine. Every day of my life I was made to feel the outsider. I was hated by people of both our mother and my father. I was a living testament to the class divide, the result of a liaison between a debased noble and a jumped up commoner.”

“You shut your mouth! You shall not shame our mother!” Thor roared.

Loki paused at Thor’s fiery rage. His desire to hurt his brother suddenly quenched. He sighed, and said in a weary voice.

“I shamed her from the moment of my conception. I shamed her every day that I drew breath. Only by my death would her shame be over. If then. The Aesir are not know for forgiving social faux pas, especially one as damning as myself.” 

Thor met Loki’s gaze and Loki could see his anger smolder and go out. There was only pain is his bright blue eyes. Loki’s stomach twisted. 

Thor went to his mini fridge and pulled out two bottles of cola. He handed one to Loki, twisted the top off his own and took a drink. Loki followed his example. They drank in silence for a while. Loki wished to leave, but he could not summon up the resolve to go. 

“Can we not speak without quarreling?” Thor asked.

“I doubt it. We are both too much alike and too different. There is no middle ground between us.”

Thor finished his cola and dropped the bottle in the waste basket. Loki noted Fandral must have managed to teach his brother a few considerations in the last two months. Thor had always left things wherever he was when he finished with them. Thor took a deep breath and gazed into Loki’s face, a furrow between his eyes, his mouth a straight line. Loki knew he didn’t want to hear his brother’s words. 

“I came here for your help in preventing this war. That you declined to help me…” Thor got up and started pacing again. “I can understand your reluctance to...” 

“Thor...”

“Have it your way then. Your refusal to help.” Thor balled his hands into fists again and raised his voice. “But why, why did you not tell me that it had escalated to the point of war? If I had known I would have returned. We might have won.”

“No, Thor you would not have. Asgard’s army was out-manned a hundred to one. Only the support from its western allies held its enemies at bay. Once America started to make overtures to Russia, Asgard’s days were numbered. Had you known the war had started you would have flown to your death.”

“You do not know that. I could have rallied our people. If I’d led the army….”

“More of Asgard’s people would have died before they surrendered.”

“It is my duty. I am…” Thor’s voice quavered and he paused. Loki shut his eyes to hide from the anguish on his brother’s face. “I am the lawful king of Asgard. I must return and try to win our country back.”

“Thor you are not the king. There is no Asgard. No more throne to win, no nobles to follow you into battle. They are either fled or dead. After five hundred years of oppressing the natives, the invaders have been overthrown. Where is the justice in trying to put them back under your heel?”

“Loki, are you trying to justify your reasons to give up before the fight? Never have I known you to turn away from a battle.”

“Nor have you known me to engage in pointless combat. Besides, Hela has a better claim to kingship then you do.”

“That fraud? Even were the lie of her heritage true, she would still have no right. I am the designated heir.”

“No, brother you are not. Hela, should she prove she’s Odin’s bastard, is the heir. Your father disinherited both of us before the war started. Those were his last words before he holed up in the castle to die.”

Thor sat down abruptly on Fandral’s bed and put his head in his hands. 

“I cannot believe that. I cannot believe he would do such a thing.”

“Believe it or not, he did it. I suppose he was angered at your little jaunt to retrieve the black sheep.”

“Why? I did nothing to wrong him. I was trying to get your help. Why would he cast me off?”

“Hurts, doesn’t it? To be abandoned? To be found unworthy? No matter that you were only attempting to please him.”

Thor looked up at Loki and tears glittered in his eyes. Loki looked away.

“I..” Loki tried to take a final drink from his bottle only to realize it was empty. He let it fall on the floor where it rolled back and forth with the slight motion of the yacht. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No.” said Thor, kicking the bottle as it rolled his way. “You are right.”

“I didn’t say I was wrong. Odin was a bastard.” 

Thor nodded. “Aye.” 

Loki picked up the bottle when it rolled back to him and walked over to drop it in the trash. 

“I don’t suppose you have a cigarette?”

“Fandral brought a pack. He thinks they make him look like a film star.”

Loki rummaged around in Fandral’s dresser and pulled out a pack and a lighter.

"He’s out of date. Today it’s all health foods and exercise regimes.” 

Loki offered one to Thor who shook his head. He lit his and took up pacing in Thor’s stead.

“I don’t know how either of you can stand those things.” Thor said.

Loki shrugged. “I’ve had worse habits.”

Thor frowned.

“Is it true what you said this morning? About…” Thor trailed off unable to finish the thought.

"About En asking me to go down on his contact?" Loki nodded. 

“Why Loki? Why do you let him do these things to you?”

Loki just shook his head. How could he put into words the aching empty need that En filled in him? That no matter how brutal, how vicious En’s actions, there was a more brutal, more vicious hunger that clawed at Loki to be let free. How En embraced his darkness and didn’t hate him for it, didn’t try to make him other then what he was. That for once in his life he felt wanted for himself.

“It’s not right Loki!” Thor growled.

“Why Thor? Why is it not right?” Loki waved his hands as if he were trying to shoo Thor’s words away. “Why are my choices to be judged? What rules do you apply that my actions, my words and even my thoughts must be wrong?”

“It’s not your actions I’m judging! It’s his. He has no respect for you.”

“He respects me more than father ever did.” Loki bit back the sob that tried to break from his tightened throat. 

Thor lifted his eyes to glare at his brother. “You said it yourself, he used you like a whore!”

Loki ran his hands through his hair and looked away from Thor, glancing out the porthole that was all the view this room was afforded. He took a hit from the cigarette, blew out a trail of smoke toward the ceiling and turned back.

“En’s finding my limits. He’ll not try it again.”

“He shouldn’t have done it in the first place. He takes advantage of you.”

“Ah here it is again.' Loki sneered. "I’m not capable of making my own choices. Too sick, too crazy, too damaged to know what I’m doing, to know what I want.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Is it not? Listen to yourself, Thor. You are the one who doesn’t respect me, you and father never respected me.”

“Damn it Loki, I care about you. I worry about you.”

“That does not give you the right to judge me.”

“It does when I can see you’re hurting yourself.” Thor snapped. “When you let someone like that… that monster hurt you.”

“No, it doesn’t Thor.”

Loki stopped pacing, took a final drag from the cigarette, dropped it, and took particular pleasure in watching it burn a black strip into the polished wood. Thor watched him but made no move to get up. Loki had always had a fascination with fire, which sometimes spilled into destructive tendencies. He’d once spent an entire afternoon burning their childhood storybooks a page at a time. Thor had never had the courage to ask him why. Loki wore the same detached expression as he stared down at the smoldering butt. After a moment he seem to come to himself and ground it out underfoot.

“You don’t know me. You have an image in your mind, an image that I created to survive. An image of a quiet, obedient son striving for father's affection. Of your loving, shy little brother. Of an innocent to protect. That’s not me Thor. It was never me.”

“Loki that’s not how...” 

Loki raised his hand and Thor shut his mouth.

“I learned young that I would never win Odin’s favor. You had it all. You were the perfect one. Everyone adored you. Even mother could love you without guilt tinging her affection. I hated you so much. Almost as much as I hated father. Do you know how many times I plotted your death? I distilled angel’s trumpet and nightshade, only to pour it out the window of my room. I broke the stitching on the girth strap of your saddle before the grand hunt, and then spilled half a jar of neatsfoot oil on it, so it was replaced. When I was sixteen I drove a deer slug into the barrel of your pheasant gun. Do you remember? Your favorite shotgun was lost right before you left for the day’s shooting and you had to borrow one from Tyr. How many times I was within a hair’s breadth of going through with it? Do you know the only thing that held me back?”

Thor shook his head. His tanned face had gone as pale as Loki’s.

“It wasn’t for love of you Thor. Though I did love you. I loved you as much as I hated you. Even I was caught in your spell. What held me back was the thought, that what if you were dead, and still they would not love me. The idea that maybe it was not that you were so very good, that you stole the affection I thought mine, but that what if I were so evil that I was never capable of attracting their affection?”

Loki walked over and looked down on his brother. 

“It was the fear of confirming that truth that held me back. Nothing more Thor.”

“Loki that cannot be true. We laughed together, we played together, you fought by my side.”

“Yes. I was your good little shadow, wasn’t I? I would be the last one they suspected, for why should I kill the one person in the whole kingdom who loved me?”

“Why then Loki, was it jealousy alone?”

“No. You went away. You left me for the company of your friends and your women. You had everyone and I only had you. Then I had nothing. When I was older I realized the truth. My only value lay in what I could do. I stopped plotting your death then, for there was no point to it anymore.”

“Loki.” Thor stopped. He didn’t know what to say. He remembered the incidents Loki spoke of. He even remembered the scolding Loki had received for the mess his discarded ‘experiments’ had left on the side of the castle. He knew they had fought, had grown apart, but to think that Loki had actually hated him, had wanted him dead… Thor shook his head in denial. 

“No. Loki no.”

“Do you begin to see me now brother? Do you yet realize that I’m a monster too?” 

Loki reached out and touched Thor’s cheek, curled his fingers under his brother’s jaw and tipped his head up to look into his eyes.

“En loves me Thor. He loves all of me, as no one has ever loved me. Not for what I can do. Not for who I can pretend to be, but for who I am. Would you try take that away from me? My only reason for living? Are you as cruel as our father?”

“Gods Loki.” Thor reached out and clasped Loki’s arm and pulled him close. Loki stroked the back of his head as his older brother cried into the front of his shirt. 

Loki looked back out the porthole and watched the water sparkle in the sun. He was so tired of this. Tired of dealing with his Thor’s broken illusions.

Would it be a mercy to tell him everything? No. Loki thought. There is no need to bring up my involvement in Asgard’s downfall. Let him think I have a little bit of good still left inside. I’ve told him enough for him to back off, to leave En alone before he annoys En enough, that he decides to have Thor killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a damn hard chapter to write. Yes, Loki refers to Odin as Odin, your father and father.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki attempts a good turn. The dysfunctional duo exchange viewpoints. Self medicating.

“Thor.” Loki said when his brother had quieted and was blowing his nose. He sat down beside him a placed a hand on his knee to get his attention. 

Thor looked up, red eyed and wary. He didn’t want any more of Loki’s revelations. He already felt like his brother had been driving daggers into his heart, one after the other.

Loki shook his head. “This is not about us. I need you to listen. The fighter, Banner is not what you think he is. His real name is Banik and I knew him, before he came here, before I came here.”

“What does this matter? Asgard is of more importance now then even Fandral’s wellbeing. I have no intention of staying to fight. Whether you stand by my side or remain here with…” Thor trailed off. Took a deep breath. “I’ll find those of our country men who fled, I will raise an army if need be and we will return. You cannot turn me from this.”

“How? Do you not yet realize your changed station?”

“How?” Thor almost growled. “I’ll fly back to Europe, Oslo first, for many of our people have second homes there. Regardless of what father said, I have an obligation.”

“I meant Thor how will you fly back?”

“On a plane of course. Your friend will not be able to hold me here.”

“How will you pay for your travel and pay for your army? How much money have you exchanged or put into foreign banks?”

Thor looked stunned and Loki sighed. His brother had never had to think about finances. Until now Thor’s major concern with money had been whether Odin was going to cut off his spending if he went over his monthly allowance. 

“I have a few hundred left in American dollars. I didn’t expect to spend as much time here as I have. But father has an account at Deutsche Bank and we have always drawn on it while traveling.”

“Disinherited Thor. Check it if you wish, but I doubt you still have access. If there is anything in it. Asgardian currency is now worthless, so it may be completely empty anyway."

Thor frowned, considering. "I believe Fandral has an account of his own in a Paris bank. His brother moved there many years ago when they sold their estate."

"What is your payment arrangement with your trainer?” Loki asked. "Do you owe him?"

“I’ve been paying for our room and board and my training. Our contract says he gets twenty percent of the purse.”

“You shouldn’t have allowed any more than ten. What’s the split Thor?”

“The split? A standard sixty-forty.”

“Thor, it’s a five thousand dollar purse. If you win you will make twenty four hundred, if you lose you make sixteen hundred. You may be able to buy a ticket to Norway and a couple of days in a cheap hotel but no more. If you do not fight, you will not have enough money to get out of the country.”

“Do you seek to hold me to this bout because your boyfriend’s reputation will suffer, should I decline to meet his champion? If I must I’ll fight the man. But Banik or Banner his name makes little difference. What matter that you knew him in Asgard?”

“Damn it Thor,” Loki said. “Shut up and listen for once.”  
“I’m trying to save your life you moron.” he thought. “You run out on this fight and En will put a bullet through your thick skull.”

“I knew him not in Asgard, but in the clinic.” Loki continued. He paused and shifted away from his brother and crossed his arms over his chest before continuing “They operated on his brain. I was there when he attacked my, my keepers. I..." Loki swallowed pressed his lips together, uncrossed his arms and smoothed down the front of his shirt. "He came toward me.. he was covered with blood.. their blood... I could not fight back nor get away. I... I was in restraints."

Loki heard Thor's sharp inhale. "i think it was because I was a prince that they were so quick to subdue him. He fought like a wounded bear.. there were bones sticking out of his arm.... it took three men and multiple syringes of sedatives to bring him down.”

“Were you hurt?"

Loki simply met Thor's eyes. He swallowed again and ran his fingers through his hair tugging at the strands.

“You cannot go for body blows Thor, nor try to wear him down. It will not work. He will kill you.”

“Why are you only telling me now?”

“I did not know who he was before you left. I found out a few days ago. You were out of touch in the mountains. With fa.. with Odin’s death and everything else… It’s been a lot to deal with. I’m telling you now.”

“You say I both have to fight him and that he will win. You sound as though you are trying to protect your investment. You did say you would place a large bet against me.”

“You think I value money more then your life?

“Loki you just told me you wanted to, you made attempts to, to murder me in the past. Why should I trust you?”

“Fine! Get yourself killed. Do not expect me to cry at your funeral.” Loki snarled as he stood up. “But if you have any sense at all, you will aim for his head.”

Loki strode across the room and opened the door. 

“Loki!”

“Fuck off Thor!” 

Loki slammed the door behind him. He could not keep from pausing at the end of the corridor to see if Thor followed, but the walkway remained empty. He took a few breaths to calm himself. He’d done his best. He would speak to Fandral later. At least their interactions didn’t always end in fights. Loki returned to his and En's room. If En was there it was better to get the difficulty over with and if he wasn’t, well Loki might have time for a few drinks to take the edge off, before En came looking for him.

En was there. Seated in one of the arm chairs and looking as cold as a winter day in the arctic. Loki glanced at his frozen feature and went to the bar. En didn’t stop him from pouring himself a drink, though the older man didn’t have one himself. He made no reply to Loki's offer to pour him one. En motioned to the chair across from him and Loki sat down. He knew he should be afraid, but he wasn’t. He had no room left for fear. 

En uncrossed and recrossed his legs. He leaned forward with his elbows on the armrests and steepled his fingers in front of his lips. 

“Lolo, you remember the first time I took you to the club?”

Loki nodded. Kept his gaze on the floor. Took a sip of his drink. “I remember," he thought. "it was the night I fell in love with you.” 

“I gave you three rules baby. You remember what they were?”

Loki took a bigger drink. “Yes.” He managed to get the word out.

“You don’t disrespect me, you don’t betray me and you don’t fuck around on me.”

Loki nodded again, took another swallow of his glass and was surprised to find it empty. He set it down on the floor between his feet.

“Were those rules too hard? Was I asking too much of you, Baby?” Such a soft voice, a beautiful voice.

Loki shook his head no. He couldn’t find any words. His throat was closed up tight again. 

“You want to tell me why the fuck you decided to break two of them in the space of one hour?” En said. His voice was steady and level and held not even a trace of emotion.

Loki stared at the floor, at the few drops of whiskey in the bottom of his glass. Drops hit his shoes, glistening on the leather. He couldn’t talk, could barely breathe. 

En reached over and jerked his chin up. Loki shut his eyes. Unwilling to look at the older man. Tears ran down his face.

“Fear would be better than this.” Loki thought. “I could manage fear.”

“You made me into a thing for your use.” Loki said and his voice shook with emotion. “Did you think I could forgive you that?”

“You forgive me?” En said and anger crept past his control. “You broke the rules, Loki.”

“As did you.” Loki opened his eyes and let En see both his pain and his white hot rage. “You betrayed me.”

En’s face reflected his shock. Whatever he expected to see in Loki’s expression it wasn’t this. He pulled back and he sounded almost petulant when he said.

“You do as I say. That’s how this works.”

“No En. When it was a game that’s how it worked. When it was a business arrangement, that’s how it worked. But that’s not what this is anymore.”

“Then what is it baby?” En sounded vaguely curious. “What do you think this is?”

“You love me. I love you. You don’t get to treat me like a fucking tool. You don’t get treat me like my fa… like Odin did. You don’t presume on our love.”

“Love?" En snapped. "When you throw tantrums in front of the men I do business with? When you and your brother fight like a couple of spoiled brats? When you disrespect me in front of those two buffoons and then slink off to fuck Rachel Leighton of all people? The woman’s a damn rattlesnake. I thought you had better taste."

En sat back with a frown on his face.

Loki picked up his glass, stood up and went to the bar. 

“I need another drink.”

“You’re gonna get drunk, Baby, you keep this up.”

“Precisely.”

“Pour me one.”

Loki brought the drinks back, handed En his and sat down.

“You didn’t poison mine did you?” En inquired.

“No. We are out of strychnine.”

En took a drink and a smile played at the corners of his mouth.

Loki made a soft huffing sound. 

They drank in silence. En went to the bar and brewed a cup of coffee. On his return he brought the whiskey bottle over and refilled Loki’s glass.

“You gonna fuck around on me again?”

“Will you treat me as a means to an end?”

“No.”

“Then no likewise.”

There was a silence broken by En lighting up two cigarettes. He handed one to Loki.

“Was she any good?”

“Worried old man?”

“Just wondering if I should make the effort.”

Loki chuckled, but there was a raw edge to his laughter.

“That is none of your business.”

“So not that good?”

“By the Norns, you are vain. The weed was nice. That's all you will get from me.”

En didn’t answer for a while and Loki raised his glass for a refill.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

Loki shook his head. He paused as the ship seemed to roll a lot more that it should, and in the wrong direction.

“I am yet conscious.”

En refilled his glass. “Don’t puke on the floor this time. It’s a waste of good whiskey." 

“I shall not."

"Did you settle things with Blondie?"

"As best we could. We no longer see the world through the same lens." Loki took a long drink. "Are you planning to punish me? For the incident with the lady?”

“Hardly a lady, but yes and for the other things. You made me look bad Lolo. I can’t let you get away with that.”  
He looked over his cup at Loki. "“Why? You have any suggestions?”

“No. Do you for yours?”

“Mine?”

“You used me, Love. I cannot let that go. You would it do again if I did… do it... again?” Loki blinked. 

“You think I would allow you, to punish me?” En raised an eyebrow. “No way Baby.”

“We have already had this conversation before. In the past. And yes. You will. Because En Dwi Gast, you love me.”

“You seem quite sure of that, boy.”

“Um hum. Sure as shit. “Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.” or you me for that matter.”

En picked up Loki’s glass and took it back to the sink. Loki watched him and yawned.

“Stay in the room.” En said. “I’ll have your meals sent." He narrowed his eyes at Loki. "That’s an order, boy.”

Loki blinked again, and lolled back in the chair. “I’ll think about it.”

En swept back and before Loki could react, his hand cracked across Loki’s face splitting his lip. He glared down at the younger man. Loki half shut his eyes, looked up at En through his lashes, licked his tongue out, tasted the blood and smiled.

“These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder. Which, as they kiss, consume.”

"You're in a poetic mood."

En touched a finger to Loki’s lip, swiped up a drop of blood and brought it before his lips.

“So small a thing to be damned for.”

He brought his finger back down untouched and Loki took it into his mouth, shut his eyes, sucked. En petted his hair. 

“One of these days I may kill you Loki.”

“But not today.”

“No Honey, not today. Do as you are told.”

“Umm hmm.” Loki hummed. 

He sighed when En pulled his finger out and walked away, the door shutting behind him with a click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not going to wrap up in two more chapters. So much for nice neat story clumps. At least they are almost off the damned yacht. I'm starting to get claustrophobic.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight day

Loki paced the musty corridor outside his brother’s dressing room. He wanted to go in and talk him out of this, tell him to get to the airport and on the next plane, to anywhere out of the U.S. He clutched his ATM card in his hand. All his money, his future, his relationship with En weighed against his brother’s life. But would Thor leave to find safety or turn from one death only to fall into the arms of another?. He was still adamant about trying to retake Asgard. Loki would have given up everything for nothing. Worse than nothing, for he knew Thor would die in that lost cause, but he might, just might survive in the ring. If he paid attention to Loki’s advice. If En could be trusted. If Val could control Banik.

The crowd roared and Loki wondered how the first fight of the evening was going. A couple of unknown welterweights to warm up the audience. He’d been gone too long, En was going to wonder where he was. He’d been cool toward Loki ever since the incident with Rachel Leighton, though Loki had done as En requested. He’d stayed in their room and took his meals alone. He hadn’t said anything to anyone except for a brief meeting with Fandral when he reiterated the warning he gave Thor. He had done nothing to cause En further trouble while they were on the yacht. But En continued to be standoffish, their exchanges brief and impersonal. They still shared a bed but only for sleeping. Maybe he wasn’t risking anything. Maybe it was already over between them. Loki hesitated a moment longer, worrying his lower lip with his teeth and then pushed through the door.

Thor had his back to Loki, his massive muscles gleaming under the bright lights. He was talking while Fandral taped his hands. Fandral glanced at Loki and frowned. Thor turned to see who had come in. 

“What do you want?” Thor’s voice as dismissive.

Loki squared his shoulders, his temper spiking. He’d come to help Thor and he was being treated as an unwanted intrusion. 

“I thought to offer you an alternative to having your skull beaten in. But if you don’t wish my assistance then I will be on my way.”

“Whatever trick you have on offer you can keep. I don’t want or need your kind of help. Go back to your boyfriend and tell him your efforts at intimidation have failed.”

“You asshole! I’m trying to save your life!” Loki snarled. He slammed the ATM card down on the bench beside Thor. “There is almost ten thousand in this account. It is enough to pay for your airfare out of the country and away from En’s influence. Both of you. Just get out now, quickly, before he knows you have left. Go away and never come back.”

He turned on his heel and stalked from the room. He had gone a few steps when Loki heard Thor’s heavy footsteps behind him in the hallway. He was exasperated. He didn’t and Thor didn’t, have time for one of Thor’s long winded, breast beating apologies. He turned.

“Thor just go. I don’t…”

Thor threw the plastic card at Loki’s face, hitting him on the cheek.

“I don’t want your dirty money. I don’t run away from a fight. Unlike you.”

Loki didn’t stop to think. Rage burned white hot and he lashed out with a side kick, hitting Thor in the chest and knocking him back a few feet. He followed it with a round house kick to the head. The blow was glancing as Thor dodged to the left and charged forward swinging. Fandral was in the hall shouting at them to stop, but he might as well have tried to halt a storm. 

Thor wasn’t the only one in training the past few months and where the big blond had bulked up and improved the power of his blows, Loki had laid down lean muscle over his lanky frame and moved with ferocious speed. He turned with Thor’s charge and sent a snap punch to his throat. It landed on his brother’s shoulder instead. He ducked Thor’s right and kicked at his knee. Thor caught him in the ribs with a left that spun him to the side. 

Someone grabbed Loki and yanked him away from Thor. He threw his elbow back and felt it connect and there was a harsh “umph” of expelled air. His wrist was caught and his arm twisted behind his back. He tried to struggle free, but his chest slammed against the wall and he was held his cheek pressed to the cold peeling plaster. He could see Fandral with his hands on Thor’s shoulders talking rapidly, could see Thor’s angry red face, his lips moving in short snarled replies but all Loki could hear was his the roaring of his blood pulsing in his ears. Thor backed away down the hall, shaking his head, his brow furrowed.

Loki panted trying to catch his breath. He stopped struggling as Thor disappeared into his room. A low murmuring was gradually making itself heard. He recognized En’s voice and Loki begin to pick words out of his rambling speech.

“………..so disheartening…………brothers…………getting along so……………throw the fight…”

Loki responded to that accusation. 

“I wasn’t trying to throw the fight! I was trying to…”

He stopped because there wasn’t an answer that would get him out of this.

“What Loki? What were you trying to do?”

Loki slumped. It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered now. His voice was almost slurred as the anger he’d felt towards Thor drained away into a vast abyss of despair. 

“Trying to get him to leave before he ends up dead. Before Banner kills him.”

“You know Loki, I’m beginning to think you like breaking my rules. First you fuck around on me, and now you’re interfering in my business.” 

“En.” Loki said. “If you are going to kill me, just do it.”

There was a pause and Loki could hear the announcer’s voice echoing above in the arena. 

En leaned in and his lips brushed Loki’s ear. Loki felt a wave of nostalgia. He wondered when he’d stopped being afraid of En.

“Is that what you want, Baby?”

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t breathe. I want you to tear me apart until I can’t think, hurt me until I can feel something real.” Loki’s voice was as flat as En’s. “I want my stupid brother to go away and not get himself killed. But we don’t get what we want, do we?”

En released him and Loki turned around, ran his hand through his hair. En’s eyes were cold, his mouth set in a hard line. Loki couldn't care less that he'd upset the bastard. He picked up his card and pocketed it. There was no reason to leave the money he’d earned lying around. If Thor was still alive in an hour Loki could send him flowers at the hospital, and if not, maybe a wreath for his grave. Loki straightened his clothes then tilted his head.

“Shall we go watch the fight?” he asked.

En gave a brief nod. Loki took his arm, which got him a suspicious glance. They walked up to En’s private box above the ring without exchanging a word. 

The second bout was well underway when they entered. En watched it not from the box’s window but from the wall mounted large screen TV, that gave a ringside view. The days of sitting in the arena with the crowd, and getting splashed with sweat and blood were long past for En. He preferred his privacy and the cool comfort of the converted press box. 

The match was interesting for enthusiasts, as it featured a pair of veteran boxers who knew their craft and were equally matched, but it was a bit of a bore for Loki. He preferred the raw emotion of an amateur bout to the cool precision of these expert fighters. He poured drinks for both of them and handed one to En, who took it without looking at Loki. Loki stood beside him for a moment, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement. When nothing happened he started to move away. En’s hand shot out and grasped his wrist. 

“Sit down Lolo.”

Loki wondered at the use of the nick name. En hadn’t called him anything but Loki since the yacht. He started to sit down when En pulled him on to his lap. He sat stiffly, not sure what game En was playing. En continued to watch the fight over Loki’s shoulder. He put his arm was around Loki’s waist and rubbed his stomach. After a few minutes Loki relaxed and leaned back into him. En’s hand stroked up to his chest and down to his groin, slow easy strokes. 

“He’s being gentle,” Loki thought. “I broke his rules, I defied him, and now he’s being gentle. Why?” He felt tears gather in his eyes. He didn't try to fight them. They spilled down his cheeks and dripped from his jaw leaving dark marks where they hit the soft beige of his linen pants. 

The fight ended, the heavier boxer winning by a few points. En’s hand slipped under the waistband of his pants and his warm fingers stroked Loki’s cock. Loki shut his eyes and tried to focus on the feeling of blood rushing into the shaft, the pulse as he hardened, but it was almost as if it was someone else’s body. The sounds from the ring as the fighters cleared out held his attention. The announcer’s amplified voice slashed through Loki’s concentration and his eyes snapped open. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s featured fight showcasing an exciting new contender to the world of professional boxing, Thor Odinson Lord of THUNDER! Verses up and coming heavyweight, Bruce Banner, the incredible HULK!”

Loki started to push away En’s hand but En held him tight. 

“Come on Baby,” En said. “You know you want this.”

Loki shut his eyes for a moment and sighed, if En wanted this he’d tolerate it. He owed him that much. Loki nodded.

“There you go Kitten. Let go of all that…that tension.”

En urged Loki up and against the large glass window that fronted the box. Loki bent forward and braced his hands on the sill. He was looking down on the ring, an almost bird’s eye view of the fight. He could see Thor and Banik facing each other as the referee went over the rules. Thor looked good, bigger then he’d ever been, but Banik was almost a full head taller and wider across the shoulders. The man was a monster. Thor was going to get hurt. Loki smiled viciously. 

En loosed Loki’s pants and slid them off his narrow hips, his underwear followed. And then the older man was pressing against his naked rump, the material of his suit smooth on Loki’s skin. His long fingers moved up under Loki’s shirt and brushed his nipples. Loki took a deep shuddering breath. The two boxers retreated to their corners, the referee backed away and the bell rang. 

Thor exploded out of his corner and slammed Banik hard in the belly, but the big man barely moved. He returned the punch with terrible force, but Thor sidestepped and it slipped past his jaw without making contact. Loki gasped as En’s other hand snaked around his cock and worked him back into hardness.

“You like this don’t you? You like...like watching your brother fight.”

“Fuck yes!” Loki growled. “Look at him! He has never been this fast before.”

Thor danced away from another blow. Banik was powerful, but with every punch that Thor landed his fighting skills got worse, and Thor was landing a flurry of punches. Loki was panting watching the two men circle and strike. Banik landed a crushing blow to Thor’s ribs that staggered him and a follow up that slammed him into the ropes. The end of the round sounded before Banik could get in another punch and Val was in the ring pulling him back to his corner. He looked furious but he was following her directions. Thor went to his space and Fandral was immediately in front cutting off Loki’s view of his brother’s face. En held him, his hands still, and Loki caught his breath.

“Is this the game?” Loki asked. 

“Umm hmm. Do you like it?”

“Yes.” Loki said rubbing his ass against En’s hips. “I assume you mean to fuck me at some point?”

“Greedy boy.” En said and pressed his teeth into Loki’s shoulder. Loki’s eyes fluttered half shut, only to open wide at the next ring of the bell. 

Thor was disregarding Loki’s advice, trying to wear Banik down with an avalanche of body punches, but the bigger man had found his rage and he unleashed it with punishing effect, instead of growing slower as the rounds passed he became faster and hit harder, his eyes burning and his face twisted with hate. At every bell he was harder to herd back in his corner. All the while En played with Loki stroking and squeezing his hard cock, pinching and tugging his nipples and nuzzling and nipping at his throat. Loki was trembling with arousal, and a sick pleasure twisted his mind every time his brother took a hit. It was a glorious payback for every slight he’d been dealt, for each bit of pain he’d suffered because of Thor’s neglect. He panted in dark delight as Asgard’s golden boy was slammed into the ropes and Banik’s fist delivered Loki’s revenge. 

“Yes! He snarled, “That’s how it feels!”

The best part was it was Thor’s own stubbornness that was making him loose the fight. Loki could see Fandral arguing with him gesturing frantically and Thor shaking his head. Fandral was washing the blood from his face and taping a cut closed when En took his hands off Loki. He turned his head questioning, and was met with a look of predatory hunger that made Loki shiver in anticipation. A touch of cold between his buttcheeks, a slickness over the furled rim of his anus was followed the hard press of En’s cock. He was breached just as Thor’s eyes flicked up to the private box. Thor’s eyes widened. Even though the half wall shielded his lower body from view Loki knew, that Thor knew, exactly what was going on. Loki smiled, half closed his eyes and shoved his ass back into En’s hips. 

“Fuck me En! Fuck me hard Baby!”

En grasped his hips and slammed into Loki in the same instant the two fighters came together, punches flying. Thor was back on the attack and the fury in his eyes was a match for Banik’s rage.

Loki braced one hand on the window and spit in the other and closed it around his cock, pumping to the rhythm of En’s powerful thrusts. His eyes were locked on Thor as he struck as Banik again and again and the larger man swung in a blinding flurry of counter punches.

“Hit him! Hit him!” Loki screamed, not sure which of the battling men he was urging on, lost in the brutal passion of the fight. 

En’s laugh was deep and he thrust faster into Loki’s tight hole. The heavy drag and push of his thick cock, the bruising pain of his fingers digging into Loki’s hips drove Loki closer, the tension in his groin building higher. He was slapping his hand on the glass as the crowd roared. Thor had drove in under Banik’s guard to hit him with an upper cut that staggered him. He sent a second blow into the bigger man’s face that split his lip and sent blood in an arc across the ring.

“Fuck Yeah! Kill him brother!” Loki yelled. “Kill him!”

En let go of his hip to twist his hand in Loki’s hair and jerk his head back. Loki laughed wild with blood lust and passion. 

“Fuck him up Thor! Break him!” 

Thor snarled as though he could hear Loki over the screams of the crowd and hit Banik with a left hook that snapped his head to one side. The bigger man body slammed Thor to shove him back and then smashed blow after blow into his ribs.

“Here we go! Here we go!” En panted in Loki’s ear. 

Thor went down on one knee under the unrelenting barrage. 

Loki screamed. “Get Up! Get up Thor!”

The referee moved to separate them when Thor surged to his feet and his fist connected on Banik’s chin with all the power of his anger and the strength of his body. The big man rocked back, staggered two steps and fell. 

Loki howled and shuddered, his eyes rolled back and he came to En’s gasping, “Magnificent!”

It was lust and power and the joyous madness of victory that raged through Loki. He laughed as En slammed him against the glass, grinding hard into Loki’s shaking body. His arm snaked around Loki’s waist and Loki felt the pulse of his cock as he came. 

Loki was flush faced and gasping for breath when Thor once again glanced up at him. Loki grinned and beat his palms on the glass. Thor wiped the blood from his face, nodded and gave Loki a lopsided smile. 

Banner was still struggling to rise when the referee called the fight in Thor's favor. The sound of the crowd was deafening. Fandral enthusiastically patted Thor on the back while his trainer did a stiff legged jig. Val led a stunned and stumbling Banik from the ring with Brian’s help.

“I have got to get Blondie under contract.” En said, leaning against Loki and resting his chin on Loki's shoulder.

“Not on your life.” Loki said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki really likes watching Thor fight. He's not sexually attracted to Thor.  
> But the brutality of the fight turns him on. He's always had a strong link between sex and violence. En shares that particular trait. Lucky them to find another matching kink.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resolution.

En had tugged Loki’s hair as they were getting dressed, pressed the keys to the convertible into his hand and said,

“No need to hang around Baby. I’m gonna be talking shop with Val… Gotta get Banner back on his feet. He needs to work on his defense… hmmm? You don’t think Blondie might be interested…uh… given the right offer?...”

“No En. He would not be interested in working for you. Nor do I suggest attempting to apply any sort of pressure. It would not go well. I agree Banik depends too much on his offense, he’s too sure of his ability to put his opponent down with a few hard punches.”

“Too bad…Your brother’s quite the contender.” En sighed. “As you said we don’t always get what we want. Get yourself some supper Kitten and go home. I’ll get Brian to drive me back.”  
He gave Loki a slow deep kiss and hugged him tight. Loki smiled at En when he ran his fingers through Loki’s hair and gave him a soft, almost sad look. 

“See you later Love.” Loki said.

“Mmm Hmm.” was En’s reply, as he left the private box.

Loki took a few minutes to compose himself before he went down to Thor’s dressing room. He was feeling a little sad himself. En loved him, of that much he was certain. But it didn’t change things. Business was business and Loki tried not to take things personally. He was glad En told him Brian was back. Loki hadn’t seen him during the fight and that was a red flag. Brian was going to be a problem, but not anything Loki couldn’t handle. In a way it made things simpler. 

Fandral was wrapping Thor’s ribs when Loki opened the door. Fandral cocked an eyebrow but when Loki shook his head he continued with his work. Thor stared at his brother impassively. Loki could see he wasn’t going to make this easy. He took a deep breath and put his hands behind his back.

“You fought well.”

Thor gave the slightest of nods in acknowledgement. 

“I know you may not believe me, but I’m glad you won.”

“Even though you lost money?”

“Thor do you really think I would be stupid enough to place a bet on fight where my own brother was going up against my lover’s champion? I learned long ago to never bet against you. You don't give up.”

Thor gave him a crooked smile.

Fandral picked up the dirty towels and made to leave, but Loki caught his arm. 

“Please stay.”

Loki didn’t trust himself to not get into a fight with Thor and he wanted Fandral there to keep things from getting too intense. Fandral looked at Loki’s hand and back up at his face.

“Of course my prince.”

“Hardly that. Not anymore.” Loki said, dropping his hand. “May I inquire as to your plans?”

“We are leaving tonight. I wired my brother in Paris and he has two tickets reserved for Oslo.” Fandral said. “I thought it better to go while we had the chance. I do not trust your friend to keep his word. Mr. Lee will wire Thor his share of the prize money, after taking his fee.”

Loki frowned for a moment before remembering Mr. Lee was the elderly trainer.

“So you mean to continue this campaign to retake Asgard?” Loki asked.

“I have decided to talk it over with Sif. We will stay with her until Father’s accounts are unfrozen.” Thor said. “The bank assured me it’s only a temporary hold until his assets can be sorted out. It seems we were never officially taken off the accounts. I will send you your half when they are free.”

Thor paused, rubbed his beard. “Or you could come with us. I could use your help. No matter what I decide. You have always been the better planner.”

Loki was glad it was Sif Thor was staying with. She’d always been the levelheaded one of Thor’s group, and if anyone could talk sense into him, it was her. 

“Better schemer you mean." Loki said, but there was no malice in his tone. "No Thor. I thank you for you offer, but my life is here now.”

“So it seems. Will you be alright?”

“Yes Thor. I will be more than alright. I may even come to visit you once you get settled. Don't plan on it though.”

“Never that.” Thor laughed, standing up and opening his arms wide. “I’ve learned to never plan on you doing the expected.”

Loki went to him and was engulfed in Thor’s powerful hug. He returned the embrace carefully knowing Thor was injured, but with no less enthusiasm. Thor’s hand was at the back of his neck and he returned the gesture. Their foreheads were pressed together and Loki felt a longing for what might have been, had they not been trained by Odin to be adversaries. 

“Take care Thor.”

“You also Loki.”

The broke apart and there was sudden awkwardness. Loki took Fandral’s hand and shook it. 

“Look out for him will you?” Loki said. “He’s a total idiot with no sense of self preservation.”

“I shall do my best my prince.”

Loki walked to the door and then turned with a smile. 

“Brother, don’t be a total ass. I intend to be your best man when you marry Sif and I’d hate for you to fuck that up.”

What?!!” said Thor. “I’m not… I haven’t… what do you mean?”

Loki chuckled as he walked away. He could hear Fandral saying.

“It is obvious how you two feel about each other. Perhaps it is time ……..”

Loki stopped at a local ATM to pull cash from his account and then drove around to find a place for his late solitary supper. The restaurant wasn’t the best but it served his purpose. He struck up a conversation with a couple of the patrons, a little money changed hands and Loki was back on the road within the hour with his purchase. The drive to Tahoe was beautiful, the night warm enough that Loki took off his suit jacket. The clear sky was filled with brightly burning stars and with the top down there was nothing impeding the view. Loki loved the way the big car handled, the power and comfort of it was pure pleasure. He drove in silence enjoying the cool night air blowing over his face and turning his hair into a mass of tangles. Loki was happy Thor would be out of the country in a few hours. The way he’d talked it seemed he was already questioning his decision to reclaim Asgard. All too soon the lakeside resort was in view and he had to slow down to deal with the Friday night flood of tourists. It was almost another hour before his made it across town to and drove into the private garage. He was careful getting out of the car, scanning the garage. Some of En’s paranoia had rubbed off on him. Loki slung his jacket over his arm and summoned the elevator.

When it opened Loki shot Brian five times with the Saturday night special he’d concealed under his jacket. He hadn’t meant to, the damn thing had a hair trigger. Brian’s face registered an emotion for the first time is Loki’s experience. It was shock. The redhead’s knees buckled and the gun he was holding dropped from his fingers. Brian’s single shot had missed, because Loki had made sure to stand to the side of the doors when they opened, not in front of them. Loki kicked the gun to the corner of the elevator. Surprisingly the man was still alive, gasping and spitting blood. Loki put the last bullet between Brian’s eyes. 

When he was sure the hit man was dead, Loki stepped over the body and pulled it back inside the elevator, before riding up to the penthouse. He was surprised at how calm he felt. He thought he’d be a nervous wreck, but killing Brian had been easy. Perhaps, he thought, because he’d always seen Brian as a threat. The hard part was getting his almost two hundred pound dead weight out of the elevator. Thoughtfully Brian had provided a tarp in the penthouse, and Loki was able to roll the body onto it. He locked the elevator, only En had the code and Loki knew he wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel. There were also cleaning supplies and Loki made use of them mopping up the blood and bits until the elevator was clean. His own blood spattered clothes and the used rags he put in the provided trash bag. 

After he showered, Loki dressed in his favorite outfit and packed the jewelry En had given him in a small bag. He took the fire stairs down to the next level. Everything was in place, the upper floors already empty. It was a matter of moments for Loki to light the fuses that would start the fire. It went off like clockwork and Loki waited in the stairwell until the blaze was burning well before he went down to the occupied floors. It was only a matter of banging on doors and yelling fire, his jacket wrapped over his head as if to avoid breathing the smoke just now trickling into the air. As he darted into the stairwell he heard the fire alarm going off. As expected one of the guests had pulled it. He was quickly lost in the crowd of people fleeing the hotel. No one noticed when he circled around back to the private garage.

Loki put his belongings into the nondescript sedan that opened with the keys he’d taken from Brian’s pocket. It was cleverly hidden behind the big SUV and if Loki hadn’t been looking for it when he’d first driven into the garage he would have missed it. He pulled out of the private garage and stooped to check that the automatic door was still working. When it closed behind him he drove down the small driveway and into the heavy Friday night traffic. He didn’t glance back. He had no desire to see his handiwork.

The gun he’d shot Brian with loki pitched into a ravine about halfway back to Reno. It was past midnight when he pulled up into the parking lot of the hotel casino where they had been staying. He pocketed Brian’s gun and went inside. It didn’t take Loki long to find En. He was holding court at one of the roulette tables, flirting with a lovely blond gym rat and making outrageous bets. Loki walked up behind them, as En placed another bet. He tapped the gym rat on his over muscled shoulder and smiled.

“Go away Pretty, I’ve got business with Mr. Gast.”

En turned at the sound of his voice and Loki was gratified to see the startled expression on the older man’s face. The blond looked from Loki to En. En made shooing motions with his hand and the guy walked away. Loki slide into the vacated seat.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here.” En said.

“I would be surprised if you were. That was not a nice thing to do, Love.”

“You broke the rules Kitten, was I supposed to look the other way?

En placed a few chips on red 7, no longer paying much attention to the game.

“Perhaps not. Though you should have known I have never been very good with rules.” Loki reached over and took En’s glass and had a sip. He raised an eyebrow. “This is the good stuff. Giving me a proper sendoff?”

“Only the best for you, Honey.” En look his glass back took a sip himself. “I take it that Brian is… no longer in my employ?”

The wheel spun and the dealer raked En’s loosing bet away.

“He took early retirement. I believe he has moved to a warmer climate.”

“Ah. I suppose I’ll have to replace him. Any recommendations?” 

En placed another bet. Loki leaned over and nuzzled En’s ear.

“I just turned in my resume.” 

The wheel spun. A small win and En was back where he’d started.

“I have to say it is impressive. What about your dream of being a magician?”

“I think we can fit a couple of shows a week into my schedule. Though only if I am the headliner. I will not play second string to the likes of Strange.” 

Loki reached for the glass but En pulled it away, then held it Loki’s lips himself. Loki took a second swallow and smiled at the warm burn down his throat.

“By the way do you know he’s been trying to get me to turn against you?” Loki said. “17-20 for me?” 

“Hmm that’s a pity. He’s a good doctor. He’ll be hard to replace.”

En put the chips down. They watched the wheel spin. The bet was lost. Loki shrugged and turned back to En.

“I may know someone. There was a fellow in the clinic who was quite good at his own special medicines. I think he might welcome a chance to get out of Europe. Or you could just keep Strange on and feed him false information.”

En drained the last of his drink and gathered up his chips. Leaving a large tip for the dealer and a handful for the waitress. He extended his arm and Loki took it. They walked across the casino floor.

“Anything else I should know? You holding a grudge for that little... incident tonight?”

“Grudge holding is a pointless endeavor. However, I would like a say in the design of the stage for that new casino you will be building. Sorry to hear about the fire.”

“It was an old building.” En shrugged. “If the contractors cut some corners… It just goes to show… Who can you trust nowadays?”

“Who indeed.” Loki said. 

He took the opportunity to run his hand over En’s ass as he was cashing in his chips. They held hands as they rode the elevator up to their floor. En unlocked and opened the door. Loki passed in ahead of him, scanning the area. He turned and flashed En a smile.

“All clear, Love.”

“You know I could have shot you just then.” En said replacing his gun back in his shoulder holster. “Claimed self-defense. You are armed are you not?”

“Of course I am. But you do not wish to kill me.” Loki said. “Otherwise you would not have sent Brian to do the job.”

“Ah. You may be right. How… how did you know?” En said taking off his jacket and unbuckling the holster. Loki smoothed out the jacket and hung it up.

“En, you told me yourself. Brian wasn’t in their corner during the fight where he should have been, had he not been off on an errand.” Loki walked over and put his arms around En’s waist.  
“And that “I’ll have him drive me back.” That was so clumsy. As if you ever let anyone else drive you. Much less in a ratty rental car.”

En pulled him close until their hips pressed together. Loki tilted his head back and En kissed up his throat.

“My clever boy.”

“May I understand that I passed the test?”

“With flying colors Kitten. With flying colors.”

Loki’s reply was lost in the fire of En’s passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ends the saga of the dysfunctional duo. I would like to thank all my readers for their wonderful comments, especially Primro, for seeing that this little story which started out as a two or three chapter short had the potential to become a full on three part tale. I could not have written this without your encouragement.  
> I also wish to thank @golikethatcat for the artwork of punk Loki.  
> I’m also grateful to Frostmaster Events, the challenge that spawned this monster.  
> I do hope you have all enjoyed this dark, twisted and ever so smutty ride. I know I did.

**Author's Note:**

> Loki did what he has always done. When life is too difficult, when it gets to be too much for him to handle, run away.


End file.
